How I lost weight after having two kids

First and foremost, this is a post that is meant to be funny. I know, the title is misleading but that was the question I’ve been asked multiple times. My mom thought I had diabetics and ordered me to take a blood test. I know, Asian moms, right?

So, to clarify, this post is meant to be FUNNY. The tips may be applicable, but don’t blame me if it doesn’t. It’s not really about health, but there are some truth that all parents can identify with. Yes, I did lose weight, probably because of one or more of the factors below. That being said,

INTRODUCING…drum rolls..
THE BABY DIET!

Cardio

We start off with cardio, every workout needs a good few minutes of cardio. For me, it is every morning. You see, my daugher's school has this habit of training the parents, I mean, the children to be punctual. As such, they have decided to shut the doors to all parents after the bell rings. Most parents, fearing to have to deal with the children at work, would run like the wind. Now, before I write any further, a disclaimer first. I love my kids, I really do, but children maketh work difficult. So yes, school is important.

There are mornings where my beloved princess would decide that she wants to enjoy her food, much to my dismay. Those are the mornings where I would have to carry her and her bad and run to the car. I stay at an apartment, so stairs, distance and weight does keep me fit. There was once, I ran all the way to the car and realized that I brought the wrong car keys, so I ran all the way back up to get the right pair of keys, my little princess in hand.

When I got to the car, my little princess, with her cutest voice asked, "Dad, why are you so tired?"

I wonder why.

Muscle training

Image source

This all changed with the arrival of my second child. None of my little ones can stand seeing daddy carrying only one of them. Oh no, daddy must be fair. So daddy has to carry BOTH at the same time. This often requires me to hold one in each arm while they happily chat away.

Have you ever felt so tired that you can't feel your arms anymore. I have had that feeling, my muscles were screaming at me with both my little ones shouting, 'More! More'. It felt like two little slave-drivers cracking their whip of cuteness, driving me, their poor chariot along to their desired destination.

On the plus side, I got these nice veins protruding out of my arms. A doctor once asked me if I worked out. I said, no, but I do have children. He nodded in agreement. The pain is understood by a fellow parent.

Caffeine intake

A healthy diet is needed to lose weight. I take an all natural energy drink called coffee. What? It is made from plants and it gives me energy. I used to only drink coffee for fun. Now, it is a daily necessity. The daily dose has grown from one cup of instant coffee to 4 shots of espresso.

For some reason, the coffee intake has increased my work efficiency and helped me lose more weight. Probably, because I stop feeling tired. Coffee has become my companion in parenthood, it has become that one time in the day where I feel truly alive. Alright, I'm an addict, I need to see someone. But first, let me make myself another cup of double shot Americano.

Sleep deprivation

Genetics plays an important role in helping you lose weight. No, I am not talking about having a high metabolism, but what sleep deprivation does to one's body. For some, sleep deprivation causes them to gain weight, for me, it causes me to lose weight and fall sick. But that's not the point, losing weight is all that matters.

All the nights when I am awaken with cries or other noises, I drown them out in t he morning with bacon and eggs. Hey, I need to replace those lost calories right? That being said, at the end of the day, the weight lost is all but a plus point, their adorable smiles and laughter does make up for it all. Not to mention their attempts at jokes. Here's one....

I don't have a forehead, I have a sixhead!

Get it? Four-head, Six-head? It's alright, I found it hilarious.

---