Why I quit my job: Sexual harassment and abuse should not stand.

We have all read stories in the paper, heard stories around the water cooler or watch movies that make you really think, "Do these Christmas parties actually happen and if so, where?" You know the kind of party where people get really trashed and fights break out and people show up to work on Monday with black eyes... or don't show up on Monday because they ended up on a flight to Tijuana and are currently dancing on tables for peso's in order to afford a return flight.

OK, so maybe my Christmas party was not that crazy. Not even close, but the events that happened at it caused me and two of my co-workers to quit. What must have went down for that, you ask? Read on... read on.

It was a mild yet frozen December evening in Alberta, and all the framing carpenters filled up the establishment to obtain 3 free drinks and a steak dinner on the company dime. The oilers beat the habs, and that was cause to celebrate (at least for me). One of the big wigs (who shall remain nameless, and be referred to as the big-wig from here on), was particularly trashed when I arrived (at 6 pm). I found this a mite peculiar, but figured Christmas parties could fashion for a decent excuse to over do it.

After dinner, the big-wig sat down on my corner of the table. After a very awkward conversation he had with me and my super-dope female companion (she hates the word girlfriend) about whipped cream, whips and chains and a couple of minutes of "dear God please get me out of this conversation," he turned to my co-worker. He and his wife are expecting a baby this coming spring/summer. The big-wig started making awkward with them. He got given the finger. He then turned and had a conversation with someone who was at his level of drunkenness. Time and again, he would make pouty lips, duck lips, kissy lips, cross eyes, googly eyes... you name it, to the pregnant wife of my co-worker.

I found a moment when the big-wig was engaged in a deep drunken conversation to tell my co-worker that he and his wife should leave. I told him "that no good was coming from (the big-wig)." He agreed. The big-wig was getting to flirtatious and ridiculous. He was out of control and really teasing his wife.

The big-wig walked around for a while and was spotted petting a girls hair at another table. Death eyes. He backed away with his hands up, and let out a laugh. He was having fun. The girl who got her hair petted, did not appreciate it at all.

I left the party shortly after that. When I got home I found a text message waiting for me in my pocket.

him: "Probably should have left when you initially said.
me: "I hope it wasn't too bad."
him: "I think we got out just in time. Just never trust (the big-wig) with the significant other. Luckily she doesn't take shit, that's all I can say."
me: "I saw it coming. SMH."
him: "Ya man. As of this point I know I don't owe (the big-wig) shit and if the opportunity presents itself I'll be gone. Times like this show you the real man behind the mask."

I left it at that but couldn't help but be curious what happened 10 minutes after I left the Christmas party. I inquired on Monday morning.

Apparently, the big-wig had grabbed my co-worker's pregnant wife's ass and attempted to grab her breasts. She slapped him in the face. He is lucky she slapped him or her husband would have done worse.

I worked directly with him and one other guy. We were a three man house framing crew. With the news of the events of the weekend, we had lost all of our morale. We had discussions at coffee break and on lunch about what our course of action should be.

We had agreed that it could have easily been any of our significant others and that the actions of the big-wig were not acceptable. Tempers were still high and nobody thought that it was a good idea to confront him about it on Monday, or to make any rash decisions. We left it alone to sleep on it.

On Tuesday we unanimously decided that we were going to quit. I had signed a contract to build this house, and we were a week away from completion. The guys agreed to finish this house, to keep me looking good, and for our crew to get paid, no questions asked. We were going to quit after it was complete.

I sent a text to the big-wig after work on Tuesday.

"I have been working and talking with the guys since the party on Saturday. I don't like the situation and I don't think it can or should be ignored. I am pretty sure you are losing this crew at the completion of this house. I am not sure if there is any changing that. If you want to talk to me about it I am always open to talking with you. Give me a ring."

He did call me shortly after. He was shocked and confused. He didn't know why we were collectively quitting. I alluded to the party on Saturday. He didn't know we had a problem with it. I told him about the incident. He didn't recall one. I told him about him getting slapped in the face. He didn't remember.

"Are you going to make me tell you what you did?" I questioned him inside my head.

"I am sorry, you are going to have to fill me in." He said. "Damn," I thought to myself, "you are going to make me tell you what your dumb drunken ass did."

"Well, apparently, you grabbed #%^$^&#'s ass and tried to grab her breasts, and then got slapped in the face. Me and the crew think it is not appropriate and are not sure if you can come back from it with us."

He was dead silent.

"Oh, wow. OK. I am going to talk with my wife about this and make a few phone calls. If I did do that, I am sorry you have to deal with it and I am sorry that you are in the middle of this." He hung up.

He was genuinely tore up and remorseful. I felt bad for him. The big-wig is/was a pretty good guy. He walked in integrity and didn't really do anything to soil that (until the party).

After a couple hours of the rumour mill blowing up and me taking all sorts of phone calls from all kinds of co-workers and ex-co-workers asking for the low down on what was up, I got a call from the big-wig. The big-wig had called all of the crews close to my crew for confirmation of his jackass behaviour. He was indirect and slightly secretive. Everyone called me after they talked to him to inquire. It was ridiculous.

The big-wig phoned me and was denying the allegations. "Everyone I called has no memory of the incident...." He went on for a while saying the same thing. I again thought to myself "Damn, are you going to make me tell you that your dumb drunk ass did it?"

"So," he continued, "I don't think that I did --"

"Yes," I cut him off, "I am pretty sure you did." I told him all about his antics and about warning my co-worker to get out of there. I told him about petting some girls hair and getting the death stare. I told him that I saw it coming, and if it was reported that it happened... that I believe it did.

He was dead silent again. I could hear the remorse. He was shaken up. He made all of these phone calls to clear his name, to no avail. He was guilty. He apologized to me for having to witness him in that state. It was genuine. I felt bad for him. I could tell he felt worse than that.

Over the next few days he worked out meetings with my co-worker to apologize. He was unclear about what was to come. He knew it was out of his hands. As the days went on, it was clear the co-worker was quitting. A few days later, my other crew-mate informed the big-wig of his decision to resign via telephone. I got a phone call.

I saw it loud and clear on the screen of my iphone -- "The Big-Wig".

"Damn," I thought to myself, "is he going to make me tell him that I quit right now?"

Yes, he was. He had a plan. He had a bunch of stuff to offer me to stay (for the record I am pretty good at what I do and am a huge asset to any operation I am a part of). I think he had it in his mind that he could keep me. I was ready to go before he got all drunk and ass-grabby. I let him know that I was going to go. He did not like to hear that but he accepted it. I did not like telling him that either, but I told him.

I had worked for that company for 9 years. I had a lot of respect for the company as a whole, and for the big-wig. I told him that I appreciated the job, all the opportunities that it presented me, and the experience. I was genuinely grateful. I also told him that it was a good time for me to move on.

I would love to tell you guys that I am loaded with all my crypto "F^#% you" money (see my last blog), or that I am such a popular blogger on Steemit that I could quit my job, but that is not the case. I quit my job because of an incident at a Christmas party that I felt did not deserve to be ignored. We decided as a crew to stand together on it and we did.

I hope other people will do the same. If there is sexual harassment in the workplace, or another type of abuse that we should not stand for, we should stand together and make it stop. There are other jobs out there. For the record, I have had a badass 3 week vacation and am now doing a few side jobs before starting up my own company, where I will get paid better than I got paid working with the big-wig. Do the right thing!

Thanks for reading.