Hitchhiking Memoir Part 14: How did I end up here, projectile vomit and did he just elbow drop that fire?

You are about to read the 14th instalment of my cross Canada hitchhiking adventure. Each issue can stand alone but if you would like to know the entire story... all of the stories are linked below. Continue after the links for this weeks instalment.

Part 1:
https://steemit.com/life/@allcapsonezero/hitchhiking-memoir-part-1
Part 2:
https://steemit.com/life/@allcapsonezero/hitchhiking-memoir-part-2-globalization-callcenters-and-drywall
Part 3:
https://steemit.com/life/@allcapsonezero/hitchhiking-memoir-part-3-sobriety-warehouse-workaholics-the-big-idea
Part 4:
https://steemit.com/life/@allcapsonezero/hitchhiking-memoir-part-4-humanity-stripped-tourism-and-fear-doubt-courage-and-the-will-and-a-bmx
Part 5:
https://steemit.com/life/@allcapsonezero/hitchhiking-memoir-part-5-tipping-point-survival-the-homeless-and-getting-robbed
Part 6:
https://steemit.com/life/@allcapsonezero/hitchhiking-memoir-part-6-day-one-on-the-road-cannabis-homophobia-and-cold-beans
Part 7:
https://steemit.com/life/@allcapsonezero/hitchhiking-memoir-part-7-waking-up-under-a-bridge-sexism-and-15-000-litres-of-malt-liquor
Part 8:
https://steemit.com/life/@allcapsonezero/hitchhiking-memoir-part-8-mosquitoes-truckstops-and-the-meaning-of-life
Part 9:
https://steemit.com/life/@allcapsonezero/hitchhiking-memoir-part-9-pancakes-institutional-bs-and-the-real-revolution
Part 10:
https://steemit.com/life/@allcapsonezero/hitchhiking-memoir-part-10-montreal-psych-ward-prisoners-and-the-homeless-threat
Part 11:
https://steemit.com/life/@allcapsonezero/hitchhiking-memoir-part-11
Part 12:
https://steemit.com/travel/@allcapsonezero/hitchhiking-memoir-12-rain-bridges-and-being-reminded-that-there-are-good-people-out-there
Part 13:
https://steemit.com/life/@allcapsonezero/hitchhiking-memoir-part-13-badass-laser-tag-adultery-and-counting-cards

Enjoy part 14!!!

Every now and then there is a day... one of those days where you have to ask yourself "is this really happening?" A day where you know that you have been gifted the role of a character in a really great story. This day was a gift to a story-teller. The divine story-teller saw the work that I was doing on the road with a giant backpack and decided to reward me with some great material... this is one of THOSE days!

For all of you that have been with me since I left home that lovely July morning... congratulations, you will be rewarded today. For all of you that are joining me for the first time... these are true events.

I have changed the names to protect the parties involved as these are small communities... chances are good that if you are from these communities, you will see right through the name change... but, if you see through the name changes... chance are you were at this party anyway.

Here we go!

I left Halifax around noon. It was a maze. Once I was out of Halifax... I had got deal with Dartmouth. Same story. It was a few hours before I got out of the city and was ready to hitch some rides. All in all I got 5 rides that day. They were all somewhat eventful, but in the scope of today... I will leave them at that.

My last ride of the day... Mr. Simon took me in to Pictou County - Canyon Country. He dropped me off in the middle of nowhere as the sun was showing me the tip of it's top. Minutes later... it was darkness. 9 pm. I was walking down the road shining a flashlight on my thumb extended upward in the air. Don't bother trying this trick... It does not work. People seeing a glowing thumb on the side of the road are likely reminded of some bloody murder scene in a horror movie and have no desire to flirt with that type of disaster. I was stranded for the night.

I made it to the top of a hill and a nice looking bridge. I like the shelter that bridges provide and they have been my go to campsite on this adventure. I was standing under the bridge not ready yet for bed when I heard a faint acoustic guitar off in the distance. I thought about this for a minute. I could set up camp early or I could try and find this guitar player.

I decided I would go and find this guitar player. I figured that there must be a campsite nearby and I might be able to meet some people and make a good night out of being stranded in the middle of nowhere. For the record... hitchhiking is an exercise in being stranded in the middle of nowhere. I signed up for being stranded in the middle of nowhere. This exercise does teach you to make the most out of your situation... and as a humble student, I was applying the lessons I have learned and was off to find the source of this music.

I walked for 20 minutes following my ears. As I walked, the acoustic guitar turned electric. Bass and drums and vocals were added. There was a crowd cheering. The songs I recognized. Led Zepplin... but live.

I kept on walking until I came upon a dirt road with cars parked all up and down it and a long driveway with more cars. I had arrived. I walked up the driveway and saw people... 75 or so... could be more, could be less. There was a massive fire, a lit up stage, a live band and all sorts of people. I spoke to first person I bumped into. I greeted him and asked if it was an open party... I let him know that I was a hitchhiker from the other side of the country.

He opened his mouth and I realized that this guy is hammered... like, really hammered. "Uh-oh, I gotta take you to Rob." He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to the fire, stumbling all the way. I ended up in front of a 50 something man without a shirt on... and a beer in his hand. I told him my story.

Rob laughed and was amazed that I could hear his party from the highway. This brought him a sense of party pride. The host of parties are given reasons to boast about their parties... and I became a serious trophy for this party. In years there will be memories of that party where that hitchhiker showed up from the other side of the country because he heard the music from the highway. That is a hard party accolade to beat. Rob was not going to miss out on this... plus, as I was about to learn, he was a really good, down to earth person and a wonderful host.

"Well, you can put your bag over there... go inside and meet my wife Kat... and WELCOME... TO THE IRWIN FAMILY REUNION!!!" The Irwin family reunion... I was happy to be welcomed and to feel actually welcome.

I followed Rob's instructions. Kat, who was taking shots with a friend on the kitchen counter and celebrating her birthday, welcomed me and offered me a sandwich. I wished her a happy birthday and received my peanut butter and jam sandwich. I thanked her and went back outside.

Word travels fast. In my brief time inside I had already become a legend of party folklore. There was a hitchhiker who heard the party from the road from the other side of the country at this party. I also stood out like a sore thumb.

"Are you the hitchiker?" This was a really common conversation starter at the party. I gladly answered and had all sorts of great conversations. This party was very rowdy, drunk and also very friendly and awesome. It reminded me of the family gatherings that I go to with my family... with one key difference. The Irwin's were a lot more open about their weed smoking.

At my family gatherings, we would end up meeting eyes with some people in the know and go off to the woods for a toke. Others in the know would see a group going for a walk and follow. In hindsight, it is painfully obvious... but whatever... can't a person just some a joint and enjoy? At the Irwin family reunion... there were lots of joints and drinks going around... openly... no worries.

I was turning down drinks left right and center... (I had a problem, and I solved it... I don't ever touch the stuff) but partook in some tokes with "the family".

I was now officially known as "the hitchhiker" and had a sort of celebrity status at the party. It was great... I had "Uncle Bryce" come up and tell me about the time him and his crew drove from Nova Scotia to the west coast and back in 53 hours. That is really fast. Google is telling me that half of that drive should take 56 hours. Bryce assured me that he left Friday night and made it back for work on Monday. That gives a bit more time than 53 hours... but, I believe him... but that is some fast travel.

That is one cool thing about being on an adventure... you always learn about everyone else's adventures. The story-teller attracts stories. This adventure really showed me that.

I met Rob's son Ross. He was about my age and a really cool dude. He officially made me an "Honorary Irwin" and told me that I am invited to future family reunions!!! That is awesome, and it is my intention to show up to one in the future... randomly of course.

"Drunkle Richard" was the guy I met first at the party. He was an enigma. He was here, there... sleeping 1 foot from the fire... back up, sleeping under a tree... arguing with whomever would listen... there was even a moment later on in the night where he picked up a 10 foot flaming log from out of the fire (by an end that was not quite lit yet) and started spinning around as fast as he could. Nobody (luckily) was in the radius of his rapid spin. How a man that drunk, could spin that fast, for that many rotations escapes me... but he managed. I was the closest to the flaming log which wizzed by my head missing me by about 3 feet. A bunch of nephews caught what Richard was doing and ran full out and football tackled him. The flaming log hit the ground and Richard was now under 3 or four of his nephews.

After the flaming log incident, Richard was not very mobile. He was passed out by the fire, but managed to somehow change locations all the time. It was like a drunken version of "Where's Waldo". Every time I looked at the firepit, I would scan asking "Where is Drunkle Richard"? He changed location every time somehow... but was always in the scene. Right near the tale end of the night one of his son's stood over top of him and at the top of his lungs asked "How!!! HOW DID I COME FROM YOUR SEEEEEEED!?!?!" Hilarious.

Gummy chugged some homebrew... put his hand in the air like he just won the Boston 500, and projectile vomited while deflecting ridicule. Just when you thought he had nothing left in his stomach... another huge load would gush out. After this was done... he jumped around like he won the lottery and proclaimed that he was going to keep on drinking. He stayed true to his word.

Tim was really happy to meet me because of the legend that I brought to the party. He offered me a 'rail' which I turned down (if alcohol was a problem for me, I didn't want to get into anything harder). He then went into the fire and started dancing. He even kneeled in the fire, on the hot coals for a few seconds and proceeded to give the fire a few elbow drops. He was covered in soot. 10 out of 10.

The band was really awesome. They must jam together all the time. They played for at least 3 hours, 3 sets. They played, all sorts of covers, tons of new stuff... and did a lot of jamming and solo's. It was the perfect backing for this spectacle.

The Irwin's told me that it would be fine if I set up camp at their place and Tim offered to drive me to the ferry terminal the next day. That was great... then Tim was leaving with his roommates, Rod and his lady... so there was a change of plans. I got the sketchiest vibes from Rolf and his girlfriend and I was not alone in this. They were pressuring me to go with them... I was trying to reason my way out f this when another girl, Amy, picked up on this and offered her place as well as to take me to the ferry tomorrow, breakfast and a shower. I was grateful... not only for the bed, breakfast, shower and ride... but for the assist. I was getting sucked into a place I did not want to go, and her offer made it easy to turn it down.

I ended up leaving the party with Amy and her boyfriend around 4 am. Amy made me up a bed and I was out like a light. She woke me up at around 11. I had an awesome breakfast, a shower... met her parents... who also had now heard about "the hitchhiker". I was happy to meet and converse with them, and thanked them for allowing me to stay at their house (even though they had nothing to do with it... it was still their house.)

Amy drove me to the ferry station... she was awesome. I felt bad because her boyfriend (at the time I hope) was such a mean, abusive (at least verbally), grumpy jerk. I learned that only from our 15 minute car ride together... I can only imagine how much worse he is when there isn't an audience. I thanked her and wished her the best (because she deserves that or at least better than what she had going on).

My goal was to reach the ferry terminal last night... but I was glad I had the detour. It is not everyday you find yourself a random hitchhiking celebrity at the most ridiculous party you have attended (and I have been at some doozies).

Thanks for reading! Stay tuned.