RE: How do I stay happy when I care so much?
While I can relate to why you're feeling and/or thinking this way, I don't necessarily agree with everything that has been said here.
Don't expect anything from people
You should expect . If you're calling someone a friend, for instance, they'd better be there for you in a time of need, otherwise they're utterly useless, aren't they? What's the point in having close family members, close friends, if you don't know that you can count on them?
Don't make assumptions
Some assumptions we have to make. When you think about it, we as humans are actually 24/7 assumption-machines. We assume that the ceiling will not drop on our heads within the next 10 seconds, we assume the bank that holds most of our money is not going to disappear from the face of the earth a year from now, we assume the staircase we are using is not going to collapse on the very next step, we assume that there's not going to be a nuclear attack this afternoon. Assuming = perceiving .
Give out loans without expecting them to be paid back
Why not expect the money back? It's your money! I mean, if it's a gift, no problem - buy them a TV set, buy 'em a car, cool! But if it's defined as a loan - IT'S A LOAN!
Understand everyone's got a story behind the way they behave
That would be true of just about any human who's ever lived, including serial killers, rapists, child molesters, and Adolf Hitler. They may have been acting out of fear too. So? Why should we care?
Let go of controlling others
That I agree with. Everyone should have a right to make their own choices without being manipulated and controlled by others.
Know your strength
I also agree with this, but up to a certain point. Yes, we shouldn't go completely wild diving into something we're completely clueless about, but I really like the saying: "know your limitations, never accept them". We should keep bettering ourselves constantly and step out of our comfort zone daily in order to evolve.
Ah, we disagree on a great many things, but that's cool. Disagreeing is all part of diversity :)
#1 I shouldn't expect. What if they aren't there in time? What if I can't count on them? What if my life is smooth and theirs is not? Friendships in my eyes is more than just having someone around I can use! It's someone I can be in their presence and enjoy being there. I don't want to expect anything from my friends. If they can't help me fine. I want them to help me because they want to do so, not because I'm expecting it!
#2 What if the ceiling falls on us though? What if the bank goes bankrupt? What if there is a nuclear attack? I always say be prepared for anything, but never assume. Assumption leads to mindwork you need not do. Act in the moment with what's presented to you, rather than just assuming things :)
#3 I won't give out money when we're in the shit. I'll give out money when we have more than enough. I've lost way too many friendships in the past to money. I won't let that happen again.
#4 Understand they have a story behind their actions. I didn't say accept their present actions :P
Thanks for your reply. I just want to respond to #1 "Friendships in my eyes is more than just having someone around I can use!"
I never suggested that! To me friendship includes many things, among which are loyalty and dependability, and that works both ways. I would never ever even imagine the word "use" in the context of friendship.
"I want them to help me because they want to do so, not because I'm expecting it!"
I wasn't suggesting otherwise - but if they do not WANT to help in a time of need then they are not worthy of the title "friend". just my 2 (Steem) cents :-)