WHEN LOVE BREAKS MY HEART

He had done it again. The only thing he was good at – cheating. She tried talking to him about it and he ended things with her. There was nothing a reasonable man wanted that she didn’t possess. He wasn’t rich or good looking but she still stayed in his miserable life because she loved him. Every time she tried to put his life in order, support him financially or even help him with a life plan, he made her feel stupid. She deleted everything that had to do with him from her phone. Leaving all such data on would make her call him incessantly, begging him to give her reasons for leaving her. It would make her beg him to not leave her.

In spite of it all, when her phone rings or a message notification comes on from an unknown number, she hurriedly checks, hoping it’s him calling or it’s a lengthy apology; please take me back message from him. She loved him and no one else. How could he leave her, contemplating marrying someone else and raising children with the other? It stunned her that this was exactly what he planned to do. Oh! She had seen all the signs of what was coming but she had chosen to ignore it.

A woman in love sees that the man that she is in love with is wrong for her but can’t explain why she stays on. They all seemed well adjusted to the 2 seconds of joy he gives and the three hours of pain that comes after. Pain was more a routine and joy was on special occasions, what an unhealthy love life. She chose to make excuses for her man and stay on.

She had invested honesty, time, love, prayers, hardwork, her body in this and he just walked away. Is love just a word people casually toss around for fun then? Because if not, how can you say, “Sorry, I am going to leave you, though no fault of yours but I think its best I find me another person” to someone you claim to love? She laughed manically, like she was going to lose her mind. Suicide crossed her mind too often. Confiding in her family and friends helped build the solid support system she needed to forge ahead. Channeling her attention into work helped calm her nerves.

Perhaps, this was the miracle her family and friends had asked God for. They had warned her on different occasions to stay away from Caleb so she wouldn’t end up in a marital life of misery. They had all asked God to pull her out if she is with the wrong man and bring the good man to her, who will genuinely love, respect, provide, protect and care for her as long as they both shall live. They equally prayed that such a man shall come; she’d equally love and respect him back.

Perhaps she should be dancing for joy that her now ex was bold enough to end things with her then.
She knew it was time to return to church, pray more and straighten her life out. She was going to survive this, she promised herself. Perhaps someday, she would be able to look that lady in the eye, hold her hands and with a huge smile confidently say to her, “Listen dear, you will survive this, you will come out alive, perhaps better and stronger than you were before you fell for that man that horribly broke your heart. He’s not worth it. I survived this, so can you.”