Our non-verbal cues to the World

Today I decided to talk with you about our non-verbal signals and what we broadcast to the outside world literally every moment. Let's first of all define what it is - "non-verbal cues" and why they are so necessary for us.

If we want to speak easy, non-verbal signals are communication that occurs between people with the help of the body, while any language facilities (such as speech) in this type of communication are not used. The communication interaction of people occurs with the help of facial expressions, gestures, intonation. In other words, this is what we say about ourselves when we do not say anything.

How many people in a month do you meet? Perhaps someone can say 10, and someone only 2, but, nevertheless, this is not so a few if we are compare with the number of new acquaintances in the 18th century. If you read any of Jane Austen's works, we will notice that three acquaintances for a long six months are a luck and very rare. When we meet new people, our subconscious places them in a certain "box". It does not matter what our mind thinks. It may think: "Do not judge, so you will not be judged", "Well, I do not know anything about this person yet," and so on. But our subconscious mind takes the image we see and puts it in one of the cells, depending on our accumulated experience. And since our subconscious mind has to do this process more often than ever, it's extremely difficult to keep track on it, and it's almost impossible, given the fact that in most cases we are running somewhere and we have no time at all to think about what kind of impression the man made on us.

At this we can see both kind of sides and positive and negative. That’s good because we would go mad if we had to do this process consciously, as I said earlier, too many new acquaintances and urgent matters. That is bad because someone evaluates us that way, throwing it into a certain "box", perhaps the in which one where we absolutely would not like to be.

And here the meta-messages that we send to the World become more important than ever before. I found my way, how to send meta-messages to the World that are profitable for me and "do not bother". Because I don’t want to tracing every movement, look and facial expressions of a person, as well as not thinking about what I'm wearing to make the right impression!

By the way, quite a drop about meta-messages, non-verbal interaction and style in clothes. My style of dress is quite official. One day a young man came to me to meet me. We talked. I was really surprised when he told me that he doubted that he would come to me, because I look like a busy businessman. When I was working with young children, at some point I realized that it would be better for me to come to them in something brighter and easier, simply because when I came to them in a black pencil skirt and white Blouse, I looked like I was going to teach them. And if you consider that I’m working with children who are 3-4 years old, this is not the best impression that I can make on them, because they are coming to playing but not to studying like at school. When I understand that I I decided to try to change my style in clothes, I began to come in white dresses and light tops, children began to make contact easier.

And now about my method to make a pleasant impression!
Perhaps you remember that not so long ago, I told you a story about how thanks to my crazy brother, I tried "therapy with laughter" and it changed my whole life. At some point, when I started to notice the changes, I decided that I wanted to learn more about laughter. Then I started watching various videos of famous psychologists about smiling and laughing. Accidentally I came across the speech of a psychologist who came to Russia from the United States, unfortunately, I don’t remember his name. This man studied the smile and laughter all his life. It turns out that even in ancient times people paid attention to a smile, because it symbolized good intentions. She as though spoke to cave dwellers: "Everything is good, I’m not touch you, I am adjusted to you positively". And since then we are subconsciously programmed to search for smiles, which for us symbolizes a kind attitude.

I think that it is more important than ever in the modern world that we talk about ourselves silently. I will be very happy if you share your stories from life on this topic!