DO YOU WANT TO BE RIGHT, OR DO YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY?

There is significant difference between two behaviors: one is when person has an opinion and decides to disagree, and the other is when person tends to protest and argue all the time. The first one is a healthy ability to have an independent opinion free from dogmas, the second one usually is a sign of immaturity of a person.
Unfortunately, in real world more often we deal with people who have quite timid and dependent way of thinking, which perfectly is combined with tendency to dispute and argue.
This is something that really affects relationships and communication in everyday life and thus is worth to be discussed and learnt to deal with.
Usually, when confronted with another opinion, we rush into objection rather than try to understand it. In such a case we agree only if it’s not possible to object. I suppose it’s better to do otherwise. We should object only when it’s absolutely not possible to agree.
Though we should seek agreement, we shouldn’t be afraid of differences in opinions. The differences between people are only natural and they shouldn’t cause disappointment, frustration, quarrels or conflicts.

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Is it necessary to argue about unimportant things? On the other hand, it’s quite a challenge to decide what actually is important. Try to use this trick every time you’re eager to argue: ask yourself a question: do I want to be RIGHT or do I want to be HAPPY?
I have a couple of people with whom I have no choice but to communicate from time to time, still, I do not share any common views with these people. So, this is an ordinary thing for us to have lots of differences disagreements. Earlier I spent a lot of time and effort trying to convince the other person that he or she understood something wrong, or that something wasn’t as they saw it, etc. Then I discovered that it takes so much energy from me, and barely gives anything in return, because the other person never gives up thinking they way they did before the disagreement. That is the moment when I started to ask myself: do I want to be right or do I want to be happy? And I chose happiness. Of course, sometimes it’s just too tempting to dispute, to try convince others, to make them change their minds… But is it necessary for happiness? Well, maybe you’ll be defending “your truth” which even doesn’t mean it is really the truth, but will you be happy by doing everything to defend it no matter what?
Sometimes it is wiser to leave others alone with their beliefs and stay quietly loyal to your own beliefs and opinions. This saves a lot of nerves and helps you experience emotional well-being. Disputes in their traditional forma are pointless and even harmful.
In a dispute, you want to win and, in such a way you make the other person to feel the same towards you. He ir she wants to win, to protect their opinion and refute yours. The more you push on it, the more they stay loyal to their opinions. Is this what you want?

While arguing and disputing we’re looking for spots where other person is wrong and try to destroy his or her position, while in discussion – we keep seeking where our positions coincide, we try to unite both ours and other person’s rightness. That makes dispute to be a destructive activity, and discussion is the activity which creates. They create knowledge, imagination, ability to listen and to speak, ability to solve problems and improve our lives.
Let’s put disputes aside and open our hearts to discussion where they’re welcome. In other cases before you dive into dispute always answer a question: do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?