Oh ! This is my Life
Hello ! Steemians !! Its one about our life !!!. Haiku(Japanese style Poem )
"Life"
Himalaya to harbor
Mind like a whirlwind
Unintentional moves !
Without rhythm
Broken fiddle plays
Unpleasant sound !
Tired of race
No give up or surrender
Clinging to hope !
Hundreds of hard knocks
Still faint smile on my lips
Oh! This is my life!!
#One page from my collection.
I will be thankful to your feedback !
My intro is : https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@akkha/namaste-greetings-from-land-of-mount-everest-connecting-to-learning-and-earning
Good job.
thank you so much !
Welcome ^_^
really well done! I have never been much for poetry, but I liked the angle you took on it by being more upbeat than other poets I've read. Maybe western poetry has an unhealthy obsession with morbidity, but I think more poetry should be written in the vein yours is. One change I would personally make would be to change broken fiddle to working fiddle so further show that everything can work, but its the way its used that makes all the difference. But hey, thats me. Anyhow great work and keep it up!
Nice words, Thank you friend! I. I am not professional on writing poems but trying . Many many thank for the suggestion .I will change the word as you suggest.
You know your work better than I, so that is absolutely up to you man. I really like what you created and it gave me a new appreciation for poetry
Your appreciation and suggestion will be my energy ! Thank you !!
Beautiful words and a reminder we all struggle but must keep our mind on the wonderful sights before us. There are so many in this world that have war torn vision, emotional and physical trauma. Blessed are we who can see the beauty of a clear sky. Pray for those who suffer.
Thank you so much for your nice words !