I had to stop reading at some point to collect myself and not start crying.

Your story is different from mine, and yet way too similar: one of helplessness in the face of blatant authoritarian injustice, of airborne classroom furniture and little sisters, of tears of wrath, bottled-up anger, curses against all of humanity, dark fantasies of revenge and retaliation, sacred vows to swallow it all, compress it into a tiny diamond and one time explode in an all-consuming ball of fire and take the whole world with me.

Today, I am known - and consciously try to be - for being calm, rational, patient, funny, aloof, peace-loving, almost boringly predictable and hard to infuriate; maybe every once in a while I throw something against the wall and the very next second clean up the mess to force myself to relax; sometimes I catch myself casually saying something that betrays my anger, hurting someone who deserves it the least, and apologize, but most of the times the other person didn't even notice. Sometimes I just walk away and let others misinterpret it as my being sulky, while I convince myself I am protecting them from me.

Because still I fear somebody might succeed one day in provoking me so much that the "silk string" snaps (in my language, the "nerves" are strings and vary in thickness between "silk string" and "steel cable"). No army, no gods and no titan, no incredible Hulk and no Super Saiyan could rescue that person from my claiming satisfaction.

I felt it when I read your description of the sparkly cider incident.

^{@cryptogee's post sent me here, so I have not read any of your follow-ups yet, but will do asap. For now, I hope you have found your way to cope with, or to channel, these energies and turn them into the power to make a change for the next generation. Have many thanks for your words!}