RE: What is Gender? (featuring @sykochica as author)
I know I will probably be flagged for this, but I feel that when we tell people to accept who you are, be yourself and to love yourself we should also be allowed to tell that to people who fell like they should go through an operation to change themselves, without being considered a bigot.
There is nothing wrong with being gay or dressing like the opposite sex, but I wonder if by telling people that they should cut up their bodies to fit a certain image are we no longer being a friend and feeding into an illness.
I had a friend that had Body Integrity Identity Disorder and desperately wanted his left hand removed and his parents were told not to feed into it all and they asked us not to feed into it. If he had the same disorder with his sexual organs, I don't know if we could have stopped him or if we would have been called bigots for telling him he was fine just the way he was.
A few years ago I asked about him and he still has both hands and is still in therapy.
I had no intention of this meaning that just bringing up a point of discussion would make them a bigot, I'm very sorry if it did.
A large majority of the transgender, androgynous, and non-binary communities don't have any surgeries done for 'transitioning' either due to not wanting to, against professional medical advice, or being cost prohibitive. While I can understand the concerns of (irreversible) surgeries, there is a somewhat lengthy process of sessions with a psychologist/therapist that's required before these procedures (or even hormones) are a possibility. There are a lot of transgender people who lead quite happy lives without any surgical procedures.
I agree that deciding to transition, let alone have the surgeries performed, shouldn't be done rashly. The WPATH standards of care are used to minimize the likelihood of "poor decisions." Personally, I talked with my therapist for over a year before even starting the necessary reporting paperwork to start hormones.
This is rarely a quick and easy decision, especially with the knowledge of likely social backlash.
I wasn't referring to you and I don't have that impression of you, I was speaking from past experiences. I mentioned this to some friends in New York and they told me that I was homophobic and they wanted nothing more to do with me. This is the first time I have mentioned it since then so I assumed that I would be attacked.
I will accept just about anything, but it makes me sad to think that people would do an irreversible surgery because they are not happy with themselves, even breast implants fit into this. I am no expert, I don't know if this is an illness or a biological thing that I don't understand. All I can say is that I really do care and I hope you know that you are fine the way you are.
I'm sorry you got attacked and lost friendships over that. In my opinion they waaaaay overreacted. This is why actually having the discussions is important, how can someone else fully know what's in my head.
I can appreciate where you're coming from with your point of not requiring surgical body modifications. I'd assume this caries beyond transgender topic into people in general.
Personally, I'm not a fan of hospitals let alone surgery, so things are up in the air for me. I do know of others that want the surgery due to sexual "concerns " or passability.
This always ends up being decided by each individual (nose job, liposuction, etc too) to intelligently find and choose their path.
Things like you brought up are important to consider.
You are one of the nicest people to talk to :)
@gonzo ty! :)
And to follow as well. @gonzo