One night I was visited in my dreams by a professional boxer who was letting me know of a very positive and concrete way to create change in my life. I was so thrilled to receive this message from the subconscious mind that I have put together a powerful yet simple exercise that I named SSD — Step Up, Step Up & Step Down. This exercise brings clarity and clear focus on how to create change in one’s life. Plus it gave me insight about choices and specially the choices we make on a daily basis.

It is very interesting for me the meaning behind the metaphor of having a boxer letting me know how to change my life. For me it represents the one who is fighting, in a professional way, right? Get it? Yes, I am a fighter and have been fighting all my life, not only with exterior situations in life and their circumstances but with the inner realms of existence as well, i.e. not finding inner peace and a sense of inner harmony and balance. I am sure you can relate to these words, as I believe in a way or another that we all have this fighter inside ourselves, the fighter that wants to do things in its own way and wants to control all situations, and I mean all situations. The sense of control, the sense of pride, many times connected to anger and violence. But in this case, in my dream, the boxer came through with a very positive attitude and with a clear step by step guide to create change. It came with an empowering strength and ability to motivate me and make me see how to create change.

But what did the boxer tell me in the end anyway? What is this story all about and why I think it has significant meaning and value to your life? Because the boxer told me that there are 3 ways to change one’s reality. These 3 ways can also be considered steps as one leads to another and they complement themselves. These steps, if applied, can create awareness on how to create change. All you have to do afterwards is take action and execute.

And since this information came to me through a dream, I believe it to be even more powerful and significant, as it did not come from my rational mind trying to figure our ways to help myself and others. All I had to do was to write what came to me through the dream and put it into practice in my life.

Here they are:

1 — Create a list of 3 things that you do not do on a daily basis that you would like to do.

2 — Create a list of 3 things that you do on a daily basis that you would like to improve, to do better.

3 — Create a list of 3 things that you do on a daily basis that you would like to let go of.

The first 2 steps will empower you to step up in life, to create positive change so that the focus is on the positive rather than to follow the negative bias of the brain, where the focus is to resolve the problems, the issues in life, and in the majority of cases in a negative and fearful way. By focusing on the positive qualities in life, in yourself and in the things you do, you reenforce the way the neutrons in your brain fire and wire, in order to produce more of what you have to offer to yourself and the world rather than the perceived negatives in life. The 3rd step also empowers you as it enables you to let go of what does not serve the higher purpose in your life, and what I call step down.

But how to create change in your life? And make it in a way that it is tangible and, ideally, permanent? What is the “secret” step that can be taken in order to create positive change? Is it something that is done on the outside or the inside?

Say you wrote the 3 things on each of the lists, you created awareness about what you want to like to do more often, what you would like to improve in your life and what to let go of, what is next? To create change one needs to… create change. There is no method or technique, period. You simply have to decide inside that the change needs to happen, that it is a must rather than a should, that it needs to happen no matter what, like your life depends on it. Which means that in the end it is about choice, and when we see that we actually have a choice then we are empowered with one of the strongest forces in the universe. When we understand we have choice, a part of ourselves also relaxes and takes things in life more lightly and in a more focused way. Anxiety softens a bit, the levels of cortisol and adrenalin also lower so that natural occurring hormones such as dopamine and can be more abundant in your brain, in order to create a sense of well-being and joy.

The fact is that you can’t wait for change to knock at your door, you have to empower yourself to make it happen. You have to go out there and realise your potential rather than wait for it to pop up from somewhere. You can wait for it to flourish and suddenly expect it to jump out one morning and say to you, “Hey, here I am! Now you are changed and changed forever, you achieved it! Now you can be happy, joyous and live in bliss, no more worries and suffering!”… but you might have to wait a long time before this happens, if it actually happens. For sure it will be helpful and empowering to take the above steps that lead you to take further steps and see the changes happen inside and outside before your eyes, even if they are micro steps and micro changes. For example, in order to loose weight, it is not enough to wait for the weight to simply disappear from one moment to the other or for the cravings to be long gone. To get free from an addiction it is not enough to simply expect it to be gone from one moment to the other, it requires some action from your side, and as you might be aware of, massive action.

Another example is to see how life presents itself to you in a positive way. Often people get triggered in traffic, for instance, when the car in front is too slow and you are in a hurry. The first thing that the mind thinks is, “Why is this happening to me? I am already late and do not need a slow car in front of me!” or, “My Karma is so heavy that now I will have to get late for my meeting, get told off by my boss and feel so silly, ashamed and guilty for doing the wrong thing… and it wasn’t even my fault…” My question is, in these situations (and there are millions of such situations) do I need to engage in such reactive ways? What is happening inside ourselves in those moments that does not allow us to accept the situations as they are and flow with what life is giving to us in that moment? Perhaps we do not need to react to every single situation and jump to conclusions such as, “It’s my Karma” or, “I am going to get into trouble for this situation” and simply say, “Oh, there is traffic, perhaps someone got hurt, let me send them some healing energy to the person” or, “This is a very long traffic jam, let me focus on what I can do and relax in this comfortable car seat and perhaps the traffic will flow better.”

The third step allows us to let go of preconceived ideas about what is happening to us and why. Letting them go opens the understanding that life has a deeper and more profound meaning that can teach us something we are not yet seeing. It opens up the space for self-awareness of what is not serving our deepest purpose in life, and what is blocking our energy. When we are fighting ourself with limiting belief systems (conscious and unconscious) we are not able to easily flow towards our goals, but with awareness about these limiting belief systems we are able to see clearly what is going on and consciously decide where we would like to put our energy.

Note: You can start with 3 or more things you would like to change in each list, it is up to you. Sometimes starting with things that you can immediately change is better as the mind and the brain recognise instant change and this makes the reenforcement of change more tangible from the beginning. And it is very important to remember that in order to create change one needs to be patient, persistent and disciplined as change might not happen from one moment to the other. And once change happens there is the need to keep the change long lasting, so to keep giving the steps that lead you to freedom.