My thought about which language to use with my family / 家族と何語で話すのか
Often people ask me, a foreigner in Germany that which language do I use to talk with my daughter.
I don't know what is right but some people quite strongly both explicitly and inexplicitly recommend me to speak in Japanese.
What I do is just to use the words and languages come out from my mouth. As I write in Japanese a lot as it's part of my work but don't talk in Japanese regular basis, sometimes it's difficult to talk to my daughter all in Japanese.
I talk in English with my partner. Many people recommend me to speak in German ... From my point of view it's more practical to speak in English between us and it's equal when we have a discussion ;) I don't mean I don't want to learn German. I'm happy to talk in German to people I meet in my daily life.
Coming back to which language should I to use to talk with my daughter, often it's said one parent one language. Mostly mother language. But I wonder how does it work for bilinguals, trilingual ... and more.
No conclusion yet. I understand people are interested in this topic. I ask it to others sometimes too. But it would be nice it's just left as it is and no opinion is too much pushed to me ...
In my opinion we can use whatever language that we like and is practical in a situation. It's a bit like selecting a programming language.
家族で何語と話すの？とよく聞かれます。お父ちゃんとは95%英語で、子どもとは混ぜこぜです。
1親1言語なんて言われ方をすることがあって、結構この意見を推されることもあります。各家庭で実践する分にはいいと思いますが、子どもと100%日本語で話すのは少なくとも私には無理。無理無理。子どもはドイツ語で喋りかけてくるし、お父ちゃんにも伝わってほしい時は日本語だと伝わらないから英語にするし、、、私自身日本語を日々仕事も含めて書くことはあるものの、会話はあまりしないのでするっと出ないことがあります。一例として、英語はEvenで文を始めてもいいけれど、日本語で話そうとするときにevenの文が頭に浮かぶと詰まるのです。子どもがドイツ語で呼ぶものは日本語にすぐ置き換わらないこともあるし。Papageiって言われて頭の中にその鳥のイメージはあるのですが、オウムってすぐに出てこないとか。
子どもとは日本語で話せと言われる一方で、お父ちゃんとは「ドイツ語で話すべし」といわれることが多いです。ドイツに住んでいるのでわからないでもないのですが、英語の方が断然物事が正確に伝わるし、知り合って8年ずっと英語で話しているし、喧嘩をするときには平等だし、英語がよいのです。これはお父ちゃんとも合意していることで、あれこれ言われすぎるととても疲れます・・・。
ドイツ語を使うのが嫌というのではありません。下手くそなドイツ語が少しずつうまくなっていくのはうれしいし、きちんとわかってもらえたり、事務手続きなどの任務を遂行できたりすると、ひとりニヤリとします。のろのろとうまくなっていきたいと思っています。
そんなこんなで、あれこれ言われつつ、もういいやと口から勝手に出る言葉を話すことにしています。面倒な時は「子どもとは日本語で話しています☆」といってやりすごすしたたかさも身につけました ;) ちなみに私の母は英日・日英翻訳者であったからか英語で話す気満々です。
愚痴っぽい投稿失礼しました。掃除機をかけながらバイリンガルまたはトリリンガル＋になるかもしれない子どもは将来なんて言われるんだろう、そんなことはもう聞かれないのかなともやもや考えていたことをまとめたかったのです。
うへぇ～英語、独語、日本語・・・すごい日常・・・
私なら頭の中の脳ミソが溶け出しちゃいますね（笑）
意外とその状況に放り出されたら大丈夫です 😄お父ちゃんとの口論で負けたくないし・・・うそです。
It's good to get the young ones learn more languages. They can learn them easily when they are young. And don't worry that they will be confused. As long as they are learning the languages correctly, they should be just fine.
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Thanks for the encouraging comment @elizacheng! I'm not sure this is because I became a parent in my late 30s, I'm just happy to see my daughter is living happily. She can speak whatever she feels like. I just follow her ... or already I learn German from her ;)
I use mostly English with my kids, though they generally only speak to me in Japanese these days. I use English because I want them to hear it and understand it, and speak it too. Really, I just want to be able to speak to my children in the language that I can express myself best in. If I don’t feel like they fully understand, or when I’m have a discussion that my wife is also involved in, I use Japanese.
Ya you are also a parent in a foreign country. It's an interesting point of view that I didn't have :) I want to understand my daughter and I'm happy if she understands me.
Languages may play an important roll to build a relationship but there can be some other things. Japanese 以心伝心？ Hmm ... I cannot describe it well. One example is my partner. There were ups and downs but somehow I've been able to communicate (hopefully!) with him in English, which isn't neither his native language nor mine.
We'll see how it works in 10-20 years. Hope Steemit still exists until then and I can write about a post how my family turned out :)
It’s very true that with some people you can just communicate more easily, with words or without. When I met my wife, we didn’t speak a common language, but we were able to have fun and spend time together and communicate (Looking back, I don’t know how.).
I think having both partners use a second or third language to communicate with us a good idea. I wish I were in a situation where I could try that. It makes things more equal, and pushes both partners to think very carefully about what they need to say and what is important.
Still at home I have tons of fights and discussion thought :D My goal is to discuss things equally in German ... ja it's my life time goal!
Good communication will always be a challenge, no matter which language you use. Maybe communication of the heart through actions is best;-)
I find that my wife tends to think she knows what I am saying or trying to say in Japanese, but I feel like she doesn’t understand what I want to say. I don’t know if it’s because my language skills aren’t good enough, if it’s because of cultural differences, or if it’s because I’m expressing myself well and my wife understands but doesn’t agree with my feelings and the way I respond to different situations, which is probably connected to cultural and life experience differences.
Best of luck with the German!
とても面白い記事でした。頷きながら読ませていただきました。言語は面白いですよね：）
言語、本当におもしろいですよね。子どもが言葉を覚えていくのを楽しく観察しつつ、ドイツ語を彼女から盗んでいます :D
私も日本語がぱっと出てこないことが多くて、喧嘩をする時はもちろん、小言を言う時とかも英語になってしまいます、笑
我が家の娘達は学校ではフランス語なのですが、私が宿題をみてあげる時は、英語と日本語混ざりですが、問題文はフランス語なので長女ちゃんに助けてもらったり、かけ算九九とかは日本語で覚えさせたので、もうなにがなんだか^^;
海外でお母さんしているdjynnさんのコメント心強いです。もうなるようにしかならん、笑顔第一！と思うようになりました。強くなります ;)
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