At one point I couldn't even talk about commiting suicide, I only had it in my mind like an urge and something inevitable, but now that I look back I was simply deluded in my mind like when I was in a happy mania where I believed I had superpowers but in reverse - I believed I was being chased and that I'd end un in a horrible hell. All a lie of my perturbed mind. Thanks to medication I could sober my mind up and see straight, see how dangerously close I had been to killing myself for nothing, for a made up lie in my mind. Now I don't allow my mind to be disturbed again by taking medication and asking the doctor whenever important changes happen in my mood. So that I don't end up in delusions where I can harm myself
or others.

R.I.P. Kurt Cobain