There's a bit of this in many life stories I'd bet. Guilt over past behaviour that was lacking in the benefits of experience. Always nice to have snuck in an apology to someone who has you on a 187 list.

Reminds me of the lyrics from Dre M.D.

I got mo' class than most of them, ran with the best of them.

Forgave the less of 'em and blazed at the rest of them.

What can I say? Cal-i-for-ni-a
Where niggas die every day over some shit they say