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RE: #Killthepad Challenge Week 3 - Freedom
You had some great wordplay here, but I would caution you to not use so much filler. The topic is freedom, and there were a few bars that literally had nothing to do with that at all.
With that being said, man, really liked some of these bars.
"Don't follow the media, we should try improving"
Then ignore basic needs so I can buy this Gucci?
See my mind's still looping, and I'm begging for free air/
Unaware I'm free like an elephant tied to kid’s chair/
Really nice my dude! I see you brought up some more multis in the bars, I would now say the next step is to bring in some multi-syllable rhymes, 3+ syllables per rhyme would be dope.
Thanks for participating!
Weren't really filler. More like setups.
Mind pointing out which you think were filler?
^^All filler. I define filler as not being on topic. These are some cool bars, don't get me wrong, but just out of place in a topical challenge.
Okay. I can see how that would look like filler.
I was going with the being woke(enlightened) angle.
You can't break free of bondage if you are ignorant to it.
The teleportation bar was a comical way of expressing my dislike of being trapped.
Guess I didn't frame it well enough to blend with the verse. Thanks for pointing that out.
I can definitely see the teleportation bar, makes sense... I was thinking about the "woke" line a bit, but the setup wasn't executed properly. That could've worked with something leading up to it showing the contrast between you and the "sheep" or "awakened" etc, but by itself just seemed like filler.
Kicked ass though, loved the verse
Thank you. Can't wait for the next one!
Thank you. Can't wait for the next one!