This was cool man. I think the main thing it was missing is the personal touch. The only thing that described the mental illness was Social retard and recluse that I am, like a coin I'm being tossed... Other than that, it was very generic and non-descriptive.

As a topical you need to really dig in and make the topic come alive. Explain the mental illness, give some examples, some metaphors, etc.

Appreciate you participating!! Hope to see you post again!