"Her Eyes" — Keangaroo Writing Contest Prompt
Her Eyes
Misty and wet,
a low fog
hanging over
a still pond
in early hours
of the morning
Subdued,
dew drops
on a black rose
dim light playing
on the back
of a dark jewel
Hazy,
lazy orbs
traveling
in vast space
twinkling
a stray star
from a far
universe
Glistening,
a piece of glass
a sliver of silver
sinking in a lake
of crude oil
Smoldering
softly, darkly
coal at the end
of a long night
dying
Flickering flames
the last stand
of a great blaze
Pleading proudly
and naked
but walking
not running
for shelter,
unblinking
She liked it.
© Yahia Lababidi
(Image: Pixabay)
My poem is in response to a writing prompt by @CarolKean: https://steemit.com/keangaroo/@carolkean/she-liked-it-keangaroo-writing-contest-prompt-prize-pool
Beautiful, the words just unfold, line upon line into the next, just beautiful. Also, I wanted you to know that I spotlighted you again in my newest curation series. Normally I do a couple o artist, but today you are the sole attraction. You can see it here- https://steemit.com/poetry/@rensoul17/winter-s-poetic-messenger-day-6
You are too kind, dear Ren, I'm very lucky to have such strong support, thank you! I like that image of line upon line unfolding into the next. This is how I know that a poem works: when poet and reader, alike, are hardly aware of it... it just happens :)
Gorgeous! How can simple words put together, just so, paint so many beautiful images, invoke so much feeling?
I love hearing which lines become reader favorites. Mine:
Hazy,
lazy orbs
traveling
in vast space
twinkling
a stray star
from a far
universe
Every line is beautiful, of course!
Some speak to one person more, others speak for another.
Thank you for entering, Yahia! I'm honored.
O, I'm delighted you approve! If the words have power it is because behind them, animating them, is an unforgettable look from a real person (many, many years go...) Happy to share this memory and these feelings with you and readers, and hope it helps evoke their own. Many thanks, for uplifting response, my friend!
If ever a more lovely description of eyes has been penned I am unaware of it. I love that your writing is beautiful and layered with meaning, but not so obscure as to be inaccessible to someone like myself who is not very immersed in poetry.
The poetry I cut my teeth on was very story oriented: The Lady of Shalott, Wreck of the Hesperus, Village Blacksmith, and when I was older, Dickinson and Poe who still told stories but seemed able to say more with fewer words.
I think I enjoy your writing so much because to me your poems seem to be telling a story as dramatic as Hesperus though the style is certainly more Dickinson than Tennyson :D They seem to bring the best of both (my admittedly limited) poetic worlds into harmony in one place.
Thank you!
Y'know, I think those might be my favorite lines, too, for the images that they produce... Also, such a great compliment (and my aim, really) to bring non-poetry readers to the fold. We all want to be told a good, human story and 'poetry' should not get in the way of it! Many thanks, for this really encouraging response, @jrhughes!
Lovely write @yahialababidi loved it :D
Thanks, for reading :)
Beautiful composition of words, thanks for sharing!
Glad you enjoyed it!