"A guy has been courting me for a year but has recently stopped. What's happened?"

Prologue: Having what you want in life, be it a good relationship, lots of money, good health, depends on one thing only - your ability to receive. Have you heard about the "kabbalah"? That ancient Hebrew mystic doctrine? Well, "Kabbalah" in Hebrew means "receiving", and the only one principle in this practical philosophy is, know to receive. In fact, if you examine closely the merits of each spiritual philosophy you will find a prominent pillar of wisdom, allow and receive. That's it, very simple. Now go and practice!

Photo by Alexei Scutari on Unsplash

Hi,

Can you explain something to me? A year ago I met a guy at the university whom I liked. He was courting me and asked me out several times, but I was not sure. Later I became interested and we spoke on the phone a few times. He sent me a lovely birthday gift, left messages on my machine and sent me cards for holidays and I was really beginning to imagine a relationship with him. I admired his perseverance and ability to give love; I have always wanted a man who cares and shows interest, one who knows how to give attention to a lady.

In January he called to say "happy new year", even called me "dear" and said very nice words, but since then I have not heard from him. I saw him at university a couple of times but he didn't even give me a second look.

What is going on here? I thought he was a good man. Please enlighten me,

Doris

Photo by Nicolas COMTE on Unsplash

Doris,

I cannot and will not judge your potential suitor. The facts are simple: he was courting you for a year then seemed to lose interest. Based on the fundamental axioms that you are creating your reality and that you are responsible for your experiences and the events in your life, let's examine what was going on here.

A year ago, you loved yourself and were open enough to allow the energy of Love to knock on your door. That flow of energy manifested as the image of a nice guy who liked you and who you liked in return. The flow intensified and you fell in love with him. You were justly enjoying the attention that he bestowed on you and you allowed it to continue for a year.

BUT, have you allowed yourself to receive love from him?! While many people are great experts in giving they are great failures in receiving.

Receiving is an art. In relationships, it is very important to learn how to receive because that allows the smooth energy to flow effortlessly and without impediments. When two people are equally giving and receiving with each other then the relationship grows and prospers. Knowing how to receive wisely and properly is indeed a question of the ego. At first, it might seem to you that it depends on your ability to love yourself. While that may be so, an impediment can also occur on a more practical level. What do I mean?

The art of receiving

Check your behavior - when someone gives you something, how do you usually respond? Do you say a warm ‘thank you' with all your heart and by that express your gratitude to yourself as a creator?! The other person doesn't really need that thank you but you certainly need it.

When that guy was showering you with his attention and love; when he sent you cards and called you and expressed those beautiful words towards you - were you grateful? Did you express it? Did you show him (and the universe) how thankful you were for what you had created?! Many people take for granted the good things that they receive, not realizing that a simple acknowledgment is very important for the continuation of the flow. They think fearfully: "I had better say nothing. If he thinks that I liked his present or that I like to receive emails from him, he will surely feel good about himself and will stop. I had better play hard to get". Although that kind of attitude may work for a while just because energy keeps flowing with momentum, soon enough the suitor, being mature and self-conscious, feels that "something isn't working anymore", that there are blocks, and then they stop giving. Then the flow is really blocked!

So, check your behavior in the past year. The best way to keep the energy flowing or to resume the current is to give before receiving. Keep the river flowing.

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That was from your side. However, people may leave you, get away from your immediate reality and with no sound reason, for reasons that you may never know or understand. They may hear an inner voice, get the feeling that "it's not that", and leave, abruptly so. Your job is to learn to accept this without judgment. To continue to trust your creation, your wisdom, your master self. There's no need to analyze your behavior. If you feel you were acting in the best way you were able to, then fine. Breathe deeply and release the incident.

Good luck.