Missing out for many days - Busy in self Improvement and self analysis - JOURNAL - MyStorysteemCreated with Sketch.

in journal •  4 months ago

I think this is my 18th day here in Steemit.. but i was missing for days here after the 6 - 7th day in Steemit.

Where did i went?

Why din't i post??

Why did i din't even upvoted or commented or even been around in the platform??

Well...i went kind of offline..from the Internet..partially offline to be precise.

I always had a messed upd life.. i had a lot of ups and downs in my life..like everyone else..had a troubled childhood with a broken home. But, I kept fighting; family issues, past relationship issues have all dragged me down to a pessimistic spiral. Those days left me with scars..with fears and issues that i couldn't deal with..or din't knew how to deal with..and in sorts had created a chaos in my present life ..to a downward spiral.

Depression 2 Spiral.jpeg

Be aware of the situation that i have forgotten my past ..but i was still hounded by the fears ..the fears that if it creeps out in my present situation, what will i do? how will i deal with it?

I will be honest.. i have a beautiful fairytale relationship right now. We deal with every single issues together. I am supported in every single stepping-stones of my life from my partner. She went through a lot to make me stand me up from my crouching bed.. am still recovering thanx to her. Still days to go ...to kill the demons inside me ..still fighting with my childhood and teenage fears that crept up to become something in likeness to a phobia.

It took me ..the past fears mingled with stuffs that happened in the present similar to my deepest fears.

She is strong to stand by me. I repeat she is strong to stand by me.

LOVE couple-engagement-kissing.jpg

She is the only one who taught me to love myself.. which din't ever happened before ..she is the one who brought back my dead confidence and self esteem.

So, am fighting the battle hand in hand with my partner. I bought some tears as well to her in the battleground... but we still fighting with my demons with smiles and tears...

That's the reason as to why i was out from the scene. I was analysing my faults ..my issues ...my problems ...and finding ways as to how to deal with it ...so that we can live happily ever-after without my issues or fears or phobia.

Am still fighting it.. but am not alone ..i have my partner ..and am thankful for it.

I have miles to go before i sleep..

Depression 1.jpeg

I have miles to before i sleep. . .

With Love
...ilLusivesAm

***Images from https://www.pexels.com/

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