なんで日本に戻ろうと思っている？ Why do I want to go back to Japan?

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今はもう5年日本に離れています。日本人じゃあありませんから日本語を忘れ始めて、日本人の色々な丁寧さもなくなってしまった。 よく帰りたいと思っていますけど、戻ればどんな感じかな。僕はあの時と全然違います。

それでも帰りたい。。。なんでかな

balancing balance, image link

日本が大好きとういうわけでもない。まあ、好きだけど、どこでも好きなところがあります。そういう風にどこでも問題がある。なんでもそうじゃないですか？

自分の国でも外人みたいな感じだから、考え方と習慣は違います。だから文字通りの外人だといいかな？

タイとイタリアの料理も最高でアメリカで色々な国のバラエティがあるが、日本料理だけを毎日食べたいと思います。町は綺麗だし、人は丁寧だし、色々な遊びがありますけど、こういう理由で日本に戻りたいと言えない。ストレスがそこまであるから、戻ろうと思ったら、もっと深く気持ちでこう言います。

日本人の気持ちがわかるとおもいます。心でわかるって感じです。もちろん100%じゃあない。今の僕は昔と違って性格はそんなに日本人と似合ってはない、直接すぎで、パンクみたいにルールが好きじゃない。渋谷と新宿のデパートは全然好きじゃない(直接言うと)。でも別の国の人は不思議だと思われた日本人の喋り方と考え方は全然不思議だと思わない。魅力だと思います。

完璧でもないけど、すごい魅力です。これは理論的じゃなくて普通に生活している時も感じられます。

今、世界は繋がっています。早く変わって続くけどバランスがない。経済的に色々な文化の交換がありますから別の国の習慣とかトレンドとかをわかるようになりましたが、心がまだ理解していないと思います。陰陽みたいに欧米と欧米化した国は「これ」があって、日本は珍しく「あれ」があります。「これ」と「あれ」を混ぜ合わせて、世界はもっとバランスになると思います。

簡単に言うとコレクティビズムとインディビジュアリズムのバランスだけどこれだけじゃなく、みんなは心のバランスを実現しようとすれば、全世界はすばらしい未来を近づけると思います。

僕はこういう考え方で日本に戻りたいなあとおもいます。「これ」と「あれ」を日本人と混ぜたい意味で戻りたいです。別の理由もありますけど、今度話します。

どう思いますか

I’ve been away from Japan for a long time already, more than 5 years. I’m starting to forget the language and I’m not nearly as polite as I was. I’d still like to go back but what would it be like? I’m a totally different person from who I was back then. I’m not sure if I’d even be able to re-adjust.

So why do I still want to go back?

I’m not in love with Japan. I like it, I guess. There are problems with everywhere and good to be found everywhere, right? Maybe I just like being a foreigner, at least that way I have an excuse for being different and “strange”.

Italy and Thailand also have amazing food and there’s a variety of different countries food in American cities, but I can only eat Japanese food every day. The streets are clean, people are polite and there are a ton of things to do. But this isn’t enough to bring me back. The stress of living in japan can be overwhelming, especially the cost and the rigidity of social interaction. So it something deeper.

I understand Japanese people on a soul level. While other foreigners can analyze it, I feel it, I know why it is the way it is and appreciate the feelings behind it without getting tied up in its differences from my own culture, without comparing or saying one is better than the other. I’m now more straightforward than many Japanese people can bare. I can’t stand the shopping malls of Shibuya or Shinjuku. Still, there is nothing about Japan that I find “strange” or “other”. It’s all quite beautiful.

It’s not perfect, but it’s beautiful. I don’t say this in a theoretical way at all as I’ve experienced it for myself, being totally immersed for five years.

The world is connected now, more than ever before. It’s not balanced though. Customs and trends move beyond borders and influence people far beyond where they originated. Most of this occurs by means of economics, with profits in mind. We can understand other cultures, but not with the heart, not through any deep kind of empathy. I’d like to do what I can to change this.

The fact is, Japan is abundant where the rest of the world is lacking, and it’s lacking in what other countries overflow with. You may be tempted to focus on individualism and collectivism, but that would be an oversimplification. You could call it Yin and Yang but that may simply be a metaphor. For me , it’s just a feeling. Let’s call it “This” and “That”.

The world would be a much better place for all of us if we could all learn to balance “This” and “That”. I’d like to return and try together with the wonderful communities I encountered there and see what happens.

There are other reasons I’d like to return but those are for another day.

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