How valuable are you? Your children? Your friends? Your brothers, sisters, parents or other people you care about? This is where I hope to make a difference in some small way.

Meet My Little Family @valeriem

I am really excited to have the opportunity to contribute to this community and look forward to sharing all that I learn and research online, as I continue learning and developing myself, my children and hopefully, in due course, others too.

Please support us and let us know what you would be interested in learning about or seeing on SteemIt. All research and posts will be given a lot of time and attention, to ensure you get only the best.

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My Story

A few years ago I unintentionally embarked on my own journey of self-discovery, self-improvement and psychological development, which has taken me down a very interesting path in psychology and opened up a fascinating world to me in the health and medical fields. These were not new interests, I had always been fascinated by the workings of the brain and everything in the medical field and have always had a desperate desire to “help others”, “care for others” and “make a difference” but I had also known that I was not good enough or intelligent enough to attempt going that route.

From day to day for many years, for the most part, I existed in a very dark place emotionally. I was sick and tired of life. The pain, the poverty, the rejection, judgement, emotional numbness, lack of acceptance and love, the failure in every aspect and area of my life. I had made two attempts on my life prior to having my children, but now that I have them, life has given me a new dimension of focus … my children. If it weren’t for them, I would not have persisted through all that I had or held so tightly onto the dream of a “normal” and ”better” life.

It seemed impossible to get the help for myself, which I knew I really needed … and wanted. It seemed that government health facilities were geared to help children and the “less fortunate”, not the adults like me. I had in fact tried to improve myself, my habits, my ways, my thinking and feelings from as far back as I can remember in my own childhood to the present moment. The only books I ever read were books that were supposed to help me improve. Back when I was employed and had a medical aid, I had already willingly spent many years with various psychologists, seeking the answers I desperately wanted and felt I needed. As usual, I had failed and pretty much given up on myself, I was beyond saving and probably too old anyway, but not my children. My hope no longer existed in me, but in them.

My only intention, that morning when we jumped into the car, was to seek out the help I felt I now had access to, for my children – the help I felt they deserved but was not able to give them myself. The most important thing to me that morning was to attempt to change history - maybe I could change life’s outcome for the two young boys I loved deeply, that I now proudly mothered. That way, my pathetic existence would not have been in vein.

I had succeeded in securing two appointments at two different facilities, one for each of the boys. I had patiently waited over four or five months for the first appointment for my eldest child. The appointment for the second child was the following week. Both appointments and both facilities/addresses had been discussed and sorted out via a single email which lay on my lap as I drove with a map on the lap of my son sitting next to me.

My children, in my opinion, were balanced, healthy and reasonably happy. But I wanted more for them – more than I could give. Being a single mom, I only had one perspective that seemed clearly flawed, since I was so very unhappy and everything I tried failed. Now my life was falling apart and I was bound to take my children down with me, which I did not want to do.

The passing of my step-father after many years of battling cancer, a week prior to that day, had marked for me, the end of a very trying period in some ways but brought great sadness in other ways. It also marked the beginning of more problems of a different kind – I did not know what the future held for me and did not want to waste energy on thinking about it. I had chased a life that I had convinced myself I desired for almost 20 years but it was now clear that I was never going to have, nor would I ever be a part of that particular family or life.

I had tried hard to fit into and bring a step-family together as one family unit. I wanted “my family” to be different to most other “step-families” out there. I wanted to prove that people, from all backgrounds, when brought together through circumstances, could actually come together as a unit. I wanted to prove that love could overcome all – I was sadly mistaken. The main link that held the two families together, my step-father, was now gone and it was time for me to give up, accept things as they were and focus my energies on my own little family unit.

As it is, I do not have a very good sense of direction and trying to find places I had never been to, alone, was very challenging for me and evoked major fear and anxiety deep down within, but I had been given this opportunity and I needed to do it, no matter what … my children are worth it!

As I drove on, trying to negotiate the heavy traffic of the morning, not really knowing how to get to my destination, with a sense of anxiety fast increasing beyond acceptable levels, my mind started to shut-down as it felt like the world was closing in on me. I became highly disorientated and confused. A flood of tears and dread filled up in my chest and throat but I could not allow them out. My son was with me and today was his day, not mine. I pushed on. My son probably feeling pretty helpless himself as the atmosphere was thick and it was obvious that this too, was not going to work out.

Not only had I failed myself, but was now failing my son as well. The time for the appointment had come and gone and I was no closer than when I left home in the morning. I was hopelessly lost. I had no airtime to phone to ask for help, clarification or directions. I was driving out fuel I knew I could not afford and when the tank was empty, there would be no more. Why I even bothered to get out of bed that morning was beyond me. I was clearly cursed and doomed to failure. I quietly prayed for help and finally found my way to the clinic where next weeks appointment was going to be. In my confused state, as I rushed in, I forgot that I had arrived at the wrong clinic and apologized for missing the appointment. I was advised that there was no appointment for us there on that day, causing even more confusion for me but somehow between the therapists and nurses they phoned the number in the email I held and managed to get the appointment cancelled or shifted. I cannot remember much of how things unfolded, I just know that someone cared enough to sit me down, away from the craziness around me and managed to calm me enough to bring my mind back to the present moment. It seemed that everything that had happened up to that point, did not matter. An experience I don’t think I will easily forget. The one question in my mind was, “How did she do that?” She asked me if I would be willing to come to her for therapy, which I readily agreed to and that’s where the “real” journey began.

This person has been an incredible force in my life ever since. Although my circumstances have continued to get worse (financially speaking), my ability to pick myself up again has increased significantly. I no longer exist in a black hole but every so often, can see the light and a little hope returns. I have learned so much since then, in so many interesting areas of life, that I hope through posting what I have learned and am still learning, someone else will be able to embark on their own journey of self-discovery, growth and personal development, as well. Thank goodness for the amazing psychotherapists we have around us! I have a great deal of respect for who they are and the work they do. They are clearly under appreciated.

The more I research and learn, the more curious I become. It might just happen to you too.

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On SteemIt

I would like to share, over time, all that I have learned and am learning on an ongoing basis. The areas I will be focusing on will mostly fall within the category of health. Physical health and mental health. I gather together as much information from as many different sources possible and compact it into blogs on various aspects within the physical or mental health realm. I will also branch out a little into self-help areas and understanding your body from a medical perspective – simply because it fascinates me. Just for fun I will share recipes and information that relate to health, well-being and stress reduction as these all play an integral role in physical and mental health.

Articles, charts, exercises and recipes that I put together will be done with you in mind so you can collect whatever matters to you for your personal use and benefit. If you have any ideas or areas you would like me to research, please let me know in the comments section below or the comments sections of any of my blogs to come.

Life should be simpler, easier and more convenient than we tend to make it. Let’s get back to basics.

I have no medical educational background and am not a qualified professional in any medical field and so my ideas will be based on pure research of readily accessible information on the web from other professionals, written in an easier way to understand and implement, yet the onus is still on fellow Steemians, as they call us, to consult with their own medical professionals, should they feel they need professional attention or help. Psychotherapists are obviously my favorite.

A Little About Us

I am a single mom of two boys who has had the whole range of experiences in life from single parenting to financial, health and psychological issues which I have had to overcome and continue to work on, that has created the person I am today. I have never been married and had both boys artificially – one decision, although unusual, I honestly do not regret … the one choice I made in life that brought me far more than I anticipated and/or hoped for.

My eldest son, Tyler, enjoys forests, mountains (the more challenging the terrain, the better) and has a passion for rock climbing, parkour, tricking, knife throwing, sword making and other blacksmith arts or physical hands-on activities – the one to go to when you need something fixed and holds a fascination for the Japanese culture. He has an incredible talent and passion for making custom knives and swords, hopefully we will find a way that we can get sufficient money together to get him the tools he requires in order for him to custom make and sell knives and swords online – although self-taught, he certainly is already quite professional, but lacks the appropriate tools.

My youngest son, Nathan, is an anime artist at heart. Loves drawing and making up stories which he hopes to monetize at some stage. He has spent literally endless hours quietly trying to develop his artistic skills and his animations are top class. Everything he knows is self-taught. He loves animals, nature and enjoys a busy social life and loves being physically active with friends. He loves to make people laugh, and loves to help and lift others.

I hope to help my children to share their talents and interests on SteemIt in due course as they really do each have something special to offer.

Our pets form a part of our family too.

Meet our cats: Ginger and Cyanna

and our Birds: Kiwi (a Sun Conure) and Chirpie (the blue budgie)

We tend to get a lot of interesting visitors from time to time, which we really enjoy, too.

… and if they don’t visit us, we visit them –

As a little family, we lead a very simple life with a strong focus on being better, getting better and learning as much as we can. And we hope to share it all with you.

A special thanks to Tyler & Nathan, my children, who have enhanced my life dramatically and for giving it meaning and a special thanks to my mentor, therapist and guide.

And last but not least, thank you to Jerry Banfield for his video “Making the introduceyourself Post for Day #2 of Steem Basic Training” which I found informative and useful. His enthusiasm assisted me in giving me the boosted courage to take the plunge and do this post, making it more personal, as I enter the world of SteemIt.

Your support is appreciated!!