I did make the hat myself, thank you for asking. Please take my example, while all these people come any comment and gain something from my story, these few words, and while that does give me pleasure. I did not write it for them, I wrote it for me, I needed to tell of my experience, as a catharsis of sorts, to push it away. And I wrote it for you, for us, we who choose live everyday, despite the pain. Do not throw away your life for that death, the cheap ending that destroys. Make your self a promise my friend, to endure until we've earned our releif and spent our lives well. Do you understand? You have to earn it, we have to do the best for our family, we have to support the others like us. We must carry this burden and still make a better world for those we love. Raise you voice tell your story to give hope. Earn that reward, when you're kids are grown when you've given the best of yourself you can claim it then. Before we become the weight for others to bear. But only then. We can say I've done my best, given my all and take the release from the pain, set it aside as a proudly earned promise. I think you've already taken up that Promise.
Spend it well. Make them proud. Make you proud.
I hope this makes sense it's difficult to convey coherently, in a single comment. Please if you need to talk you can find me on PALNet discord and the steemit homesteaders slack channel. Thank you for sharing with me.