RE: The Problem With Always Being Told You're "Talented"
I feel you my friend, 100%. I've changed so many interests and careers in my life before finally realizing it was all because I was always so talented and supported beyond reason.
It's on us now to fix those mistakes with our kids. I'm quite demanding, and it takes a bit effort from them in order for me to say bravo. Always telling the older one that she needs to keep learning and keep trying, and never give up. I'd rather have them not like me much now, but appreciate me later, than loving me now and feeling the consequences when they grow up, just like I have.
Just a small tip, my experience: The fear of failure keeps you trapped. It doesn't feel good when you let it go, that's true. I let it go some time ago, then I failed hard. I'm bankrupt currently, but there's nothing like the feeling of pushing yourself as hard as you can from the bottom, knowing there is only one way now: up
Good read. Get yourself free, I'm sure you'll bounce off to the stars ;)
Thank you such much for your open and honest comment. I completely agree with you about fixing the mistakes with our children, and it sounds like you're doing it well. I remember when I moved to America as a kid and participated in sport day type events, it was crazy that EVERYONE got a "medal" and was told how "AMAZING" they were... That kind of mentality rubbed off on me I guess (and my parents). I mean, sure we want to encourage our kids but protecting them from failure, and making them feel that everything they do is "the best", we're just setting them up for pain and disappointment later in life.
I really wish someone had told me as a kid "look you're gunna fail HARD and it's gunna hurt like hell, but it's necessary and we all need to go through it" instead of "you can be anything you want to be, you're so naturally talented, you'll be successful at anything you try". Anyway, like you said, I've got to make sure I do right by my friends and break the cycle!
Fear of failure for me however has a tight grip, but I am trying my best each day to weaken it's strength.
I'm sorry to hear about your bankruptcy, but I'm really impressed by your attitude and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I think that's exactly how we have to approach difficult times in life. Good luck my friend! :)
One thing I must disagree with, respectfully :) I don't really see light at the end of the tunnel. I believe the tunnel has no end, and searching for the light at the end that does not exist would be rather foolish. I believe we either carry the light within us or not. If we carry the light within us, no tunnel is a problem :)
Just a mildly different perspective, I guess. Keep fighting, and please share experiences. People outside our family are usually not that worried over our feelings, so we can get some wake-up slap in the face :) Realy useful stuff. :)
I really appreciate respectful disagreements! Thank you :) We'd never learn, grow or become better people if everyone just agreed with us 100% of the time!
And your opinion has certainly made me think!
I'll keep sharing, and I hope you do too! :)