I actually found your post thanks to @nepd
I admire and respect you so much for being a foster parent. It's one thing that I fear I may never have the strength to do because of the unknowns and the worry of loving someone and potentially losing them...
I'm personally at the point where I've lost too many loved ones from illness or accidents and though I know I have so much love to give I am a coward and have a hard time letting anyone else in.
Thank you. It is hard; I can't lie about that. Much harder than I realized. And I think the strength comes sometimes from a source you might not realize is within you. At least that has been my experience. Also, for me it was the only way I'd be able to experience being a mom, which is something that I've wanted more than anything else. Surprisingly that brings a person great strength too. It sounds like you have a son that you've put much of yourself into and now he's protecting and serving our country. I don't see anything cowardly in that! I thank you both for the sacrifice and service.
What makes a mom? Certainly not just the incubation and birthing process. I have a complicated relationship with my mother and I've never felt like she was capable of giving unconditional love. Sure, she gave birth which gives her the title of mother but it stops there. For you to open your heart to societies most fragile, you really are a mom to all - and I mean that in the most sincere way.
As for me, I've actually got 4 sons (3 are mine and 1 stepson). Two of my boys are in bootcamp. They in-processed 3 weeks apart from each other. As a parent, one of the hardest things for me was letting them go to grow, to be, to explore, and do it without my meddling. I've gotten over the feeling of being left behind because I know it's the cycle of life and my ultimate goal was to set them free. It still hurts sometimes but they also know they can approach me about anything, which let's me know I've done my job. XOXOX