“Punish a white kid first” – The Rule I Didn’t Follow
Smack! Pain surged in my back. Was that a textbook? I thought to myself. I slowly looked up from helping a curious student with math, nervous of what was behind me. A full water bottle, not a textbook. I didn’t know a water bottle could hurt so much, but I guess when hurled across a classroom, it can do some damage.
As an unsuspecting new teacher, born and raised in the suburbs, with aspirations of helping students find their way and see the awe of math in their lives, I took over my first real classroom. I overlapped with the teacher that left halfway through the year and he warned me of fires set under his desk, fights, and apologized for what I was about to face.
Trying to Make a Difference
In my training I was told the rules and how to handle discipline. So, on my first day, when a student cursed at me, I wrote her up as instructed. She replied, “I didn’t f***ing curse.” I just stared blankly. Clearly, I was out of my league. For the first three days I stood at the front of my classroom, literally just trying to get the attention of my students. I didn’t realize how adept children could be at just ignoring someone.
Did I call for help? Of course. Do you know what my principal said when I asked him how to do better? He gave me one piece of advice: “Just make sure you always punish a white student first, even if they don’t deserve it. Then you won’t get in trouble for others you punish.” I should have left then, but I couldn’t walk out on these kids. They were just kids and they needed someone to be there for them. As ridiculous as his advice was, I can see a glimmer of why he gave it – I was accused just about every day of being racist. Like one day near the beginning, I couldn’t remember a student’s name, and I said “I’m sorry, in the black hat there, what is your name?” Apparently referring to the color of someone’s hat is racist, I found out that day. And just for the record, there were students of various races in my classroom and that was NOT an indicator of how they treated me or how I treated them.
It didn’t end with the water bottle and cursing. They threw various objects at me throughout the rest of my year there, yelled and cursed at me, got in fights, and threatened me. A few boys followed me home one time and the next day described my route to me and how they would smash my car in if I wrote them up. Well one day my car window was smashed in. Was it them? I have no idea.
I cried almost every night and wanted to quit so much, but I thought to myself, I bet every other person in their lives has quit on them. How could I be another one in that line of people? So I tried to just be there for them and stuck it out to the end of the school year. Did that matter to any of them? I guess I will never know. Sadly, the only information I have heard about any of these students involved their early death or imprisonment.
From the Inner City to Online
I am grateful for my experience there, if only because it pushed me into what I am doing today - online teaching. It may sound like a cop out, and I’ll admit it was at the beginning, but now I am so glad to be where I am. I sometimes get the same type of kids in my online classroom. They were kicked out of their last school with a string of disciplinary issues. But am I scared this time? No, just to the contrary, I am excited to be in this place where I can talk to them one on one, actually connect with them, just listen, and finally make the difference I set out to at the beginning. They don’t have the pressure from their friends to act out and I think they just don’t see the need in the online environment.
There have been countless stories of students who came to my current school as a last resort and were ready to give up. I am so grateful that I can now finally be the person to be there for them and help them make a change for the better.
LOL, the SJWs are going to hate this post. The fact that you stayed is like reading about those women in Germany who were holding a pro-immigration rally and were raped by the refugees mid-rally in broad daylight the other day. You're literally helping people who want to kill you. Helping empower people to destroy the place you live in and discriminate against you.
This is why every non-patriarchal civilization collapses and why there is no precedent ever of a successful matriarchal civilization. Everybody knows America is being destroyed by this political correctness garbage.
I understand what you are saying, but where I disagree with you is these are just kids. I see your side of it and there are certainly people more well-suited than me to help these kids, but again, they are kids. We all did stupid stuff growing up and I don't know about you, but people sticking by me no matter what is what helped me be who I am today.
I attended an all black elementary in Baton Rouge in the 1970s in a poverty stricken area. It is difficult to morph culture all at once. I think maybe you would have had more success if you had been at liberty to have a dance-off for the first 20 minutes of each class period to build rapport and for them to see you as culturally close to themselves. The young boys probably needed someone to push them on the basketball court and some long-distance running to get them focused in on accomplishment. I don't think you can do this all by yourself. Schools need to change. Entire communities have to care.
Yeah I agree they are just kids. Too bad you weren't in an environment where you could become their friend first. Perhaps you don't see that as your role. These kids need role models they can identify with.
Thank you for the comment. That is a really interesting insight. I totally agree that these kids need a role model they can identify with and I think that was definitely a part of the difficulty I had. Also your comment about how it takes time and a whole community - thank you for your wisdom!
Well Em I am sorry that these things happened to you and in a place that is supposed to be used for knowledge...
Don't worry you're not the only one that's been dealing with the racial stuff. I don't know how to approach the subject because it is so sensitive and touchy. But if I could be so bold as to say, to me there is only one race the human race.
I am happy for you that you found a job that you like and feel that you are doing some good in the would.
Thanks, and double thumbs up to your bold statement. :)
Wow, that sounds like it was a very hard thing to deal with, creating a lot of pain and frustration. You did a great thing by sticking through the year with those kids, whether they consciously recognized it or not, you showed them not everyone will quit on them. Bless your heart. Thank you for sharing this moving story of yours.
You should check out @redredwine !
Thanks! I live in FL - that was a perfect connection for me. :)
My heart really goes out to teachers who find themselves in front of difficult kids. Good job sticking it out until the end of the year, and so sad that the only news you've heard is bad.
Thank you for the kind words. I have so much respect for the people that stay in those environments year after year and are able to make a difference.
Wow, amazing story, very inspirational melek, thank you for sharing!
I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that. Thanks for reaching out, even though it was hard. It's interesting and encouraging to hear what you said about the online teaching.
Thanks for reading. :) That means a lot knowing where you have come from. By the way, I grew up in MA! I saw you went to school there for quite a few years. Online teaching is really pretty awesome. I get to use so many cool tech things, develop, and design content to teach kids - it is so much fun and, I believe, really gets through to a lot of people that wouldn't have learned in the "normal" way.
Great story and a great title - immediately grabbed my attention in the chat. Your experience reminds me of an old Samuel L Jackson movie - although that had a very bad ending. It must be pretty depressing to hear such bad stories about your old students since then. At least you now feel empowered in your current job.
There are a lot of great books and movies about teachers making a difference. The problem is it doesn't usually work out. The school was setup for them to fail.
I think you will see the same picture repeated world wide when it comes to schools in underprivileged areas. Exactly the same situation occurs in schools here in the UK.
These kids are basically expected at best to end up on benefits or doing very low paid jobs. Those are the lucky ones.
The rest are just expected to end up as petty criminals or worse. If you grow up with those kind of expectations then it is kind of like a self fulfilling prophecy.
It is really sad because a huge amount of potential and lives are being needlessly wasted in this way. One of those kids, could in the right circumstances go on to change the world, unfortunately that potential will never be realised.
Parents or lack of parents is a super big problem in the US as well.
Terrific story Em, you are to be commended for your dedication in the face of such persecution.
We have told ourselves "it takes a village to raise a child" which really means no one is raising the child. The truth of the matter is, it doesn't take a village, but it DOES take a father and a mother, and the complete breakdown of the family unit in urban areas across the country proves this.
Hello melek nice to meet you and welcome...
thanks for visiting my post and hope we will get something new on steemit