@oladokun I ask you please not to do this. We are all special to this world and special to someone in our life. I pray you seek professional counseling to help you with this. Please do know that you are special and you are not a failure. Nothing in this world is worth taking your own life.
Thanks @joebrochin. I agree with we all being special. Right now, I even have a lover to whom everything about me seemed perfect. I regret her not knowing deep down I am a wreck. I wonder what her reaction would be at the news of my passing away. Just the thought alone frightens me.
Share with her your feelings. It often helps to talk with others and share how you feel.