The road I've traveled..... well, it lead me to you.
Please bare with me to the end of possible.....
To head to VA from TX or not...?
This size residents I'm accustomed to working with...
This time last year.....
The 3rd storm to hit VA this season....
The costs of not being narcissistic and becoming ever empathic....SMH
It looks like Richmond VA will get hit yet again this storm season. Their first storm was the 1st time in
25-30 years that they've been hit with hail. I'm a former insurance adjuster, I've done construction, I've been a street canvasser, I've set phone leads and I have a proven track record of being a "Closer".... I'm phenomenal at what I do. If for some reason this storm season I can't find or choose not to find the motivation to get out and work as hard as I know I can. Don't give me wrong the clients that I've taken on the season I've gone above and beyond the call of duty. I haven't flaked or put aside my standard of service by any means. I just haven't applied myself into working with as many clients as I know I could. Last year I was homeless twice and clawed my way back from that abyss. Towards the end of the year my now former boss found a way to ensure my loss of everything yet again. He was able to steal my car (BMW 330 Ci) legalily and never "capped out" my commissions. Basically I was paid 1/10th of what was owed. I inturn lost my place, everything I owned except by backpack,some cloths and found my now X doing drugs with my then room mate. All of this came to a head on my 30th birthday weekend of all times. I spent the whole month of September sleeping at a friends due to deprrsssion.
That's the shortened version of what I feel I'm allowing myself to hold me back.... I worked everyday year except for 2 days. Most of the time 14-16 hours each day..... what gets me the most is the fact that I've been through 4 1/2 years of Combat over seas which put the ones I cared most for as well as my self into some rather FUCKED situations. All of this has led me to an
'-ism' of mine...."I can prepare you for war yet I can never get you ready for love"......
Matters of the heart are something I have a difficult time with, yet the passion for living and fighting to stay that way seemed to come to me way easier...... I've been contemplating the reason(s) why; at least in my eyes.
Is it because I didn't have the time to think when I was over seas? Due to the fact of the suddenness of war, the months of training or the pre-exceptance of my higher than average chances of sudden loss(es)???
The power of the heart is definitely a tighter woven and intricately laid labryth of force/ emotion. I hope this makes sense to someone/ anyone out there Veteran or not.... whether or not it was this war or some other personal one. I bet I should've started of with "Dear diary....." 😂🤣😆😁😄😃😀😕🙁☹️😣😣😫😩😤😶😳🤐🤐🤔🤔🤔🤔🙄🤤😴 emojis always help explain the progression of emotion sighs
I can barely keep my eyes open. I think I'm gunna get some sleep for the first time in a few days. PTSD, anxiety and Insomnia suck FYI.
Welcome to Steem @inkbeard I have sent you a tip
I appreciate that a bunch! I've also followed you back and will do what I can to keep up with your page as I see it in my feed.
Hi @inkbeard and welcome to Steemit. It sounds as if you have been through a lot and I feel for you. From what you say though you are a fighter so hopefully you will bounce back and find the things you are looking for.
The community here at Steemit is very supportive. I suggest following those who post things you can resonate with and you will soon find yourself within a group of online friends. I'm following you and I've upvoted. Take care, my friend.
There's a video on YouTube done by Marcus Luttrell about what was going through his head as well as how true events differed from the movie. Also there is a video entitled "rise and grind" that I woke myself up to this morning. As Marcus said to himself that day "your being a pussy and it's time to go to work!" I appreciate the words of wisdom, they really do mean a lot. I think my biggest issue has been adjusting to the day to day BS of living in a civilian word again. I miss the sense of striving for excellence in everything I do, not just for myself but those around me. I'm just going to have to be the warrior I've trained my whole life to be, laugh at how big of a B!@&h I've allowed myself to become over the last 8 months and empress upon myself to not stop moving forward ever again. I've followed you as well thank you.
I was told once that "Physics were merely a suggestion to 'men' such as myself"......
It is better to be a warrior in a garden; than a gardener in a war.
I too was in the armed forces (UK Army) and I understand what you mean about the adjustment to civilian life. Although thankfully, I was never in a 'hot' war - I'm a cold war warrior of the 1970's - I still felt the impact of rejoining civilian life. I missed the comradeship and the feeling of belonging to something special. I can imagine it is even more profound when you have been under fire together. I like your final thought as well. Very true.
Take care till next time.
That's hit the nail on the head. From one nation to another being a warrior even if not fully utalized is still that. Thank you for reaching out to me I apreaciate that a lot. I salute you and also followed you. Until next time.
Take care my friend.
Thank you and I've done a lot better this week.
Good, I'm pleased to hear it. What's new with you?
How have you been? How has your last 7-8 days been in your world? I've had an amazing week or so at work. I've finally re constituted myself fully. In doing so I've attained the 2 largest clients I've have /had so far. One of them owns 2 apartment complexes and is a former client of mine to begin with. It makes it extremely easy to work work him. It's like clock work long story short. I'm still living in my work vehicle yet I'm over joyed not to be getting shot at; like I was in Afghanistan. It a little nerve racking. I know though pulling myself up by my bootstraps and tying them tight I'll make it through this shit storm and be ready for the next..... including a new place with all this as reward! Thank you for checking up on me.... I appreciate you.