No happy thoughts now.

in #introduceyourself8 years ago (edited)

My name is Guillaume and I'm a 28 years old fuck up

Cryptocurrency is a concept that is very foreign to me, albeit very intriguing. I probably understand as much about it as I understand women. Hell, money in general is a very strange concept to me, and has always been. From as far as I can remember, I've always rejected any form of authority. I've always done things on my own terms, and always had strange views about the world we live in. You've guessed it, I'm neither happy nor a highly functioning member of society. I've always felt weirded out by the modern consumerism lifestyle, always felt like something wasn't right, but still, I indulge. I've never wanted to be part of the freak show, a rat in the race. Being told what to do has never sounded true. All my life I've been running away from responsabilities, adulthood, and people in general.

For the past 6 years, I've been working in a bar as a poker dealer, running my own show, trying to make sense of anything and everything. Ruining relationships with amazing happy women, destroying friendships and spending money on trivial things. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't do drugs. As a matter of fact, I can't stand drunk people. Let's add that to the never-ending list of things I can't fucking stand. I've been numbing my pain with books, movies, and junk food. I believe I am part of a generation that has been granted the gift of seeing the big picture but with the short end of the stick. Call me a misanthrope, call me a nihilist, call me depressed, but if it weren't for my family, I would already be gone. Trying to give a purpose to my life, I reinvent myself every few months with a new passion. I'm now a chess playing, club juggling, road biking, rubik's cube solving, backflipping, jiu-jitsu fighting, guitar playing sorry excuse for a man.

I'm not entirely sure what brought me here, I think in a sense I needed an incentive to start writing. This might just be it. I doubt you will find any light in my words but I will try my best to create interesting content. I've had a diary before and it was a good outlet for my frustration. I remember stumbling upon it a few weeks ago when I was cleaning my small apartment. It had been a few years since I last wrote anything in it, mostly stories about girls and heartbreaks. Turning the pages was a sobering experience, to say the least.

For now, I'll go outside. it's 4pm and I'm still in bed. I need sunlight, and a shower.

Peace!

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Some pretty brutal honesty there. In my head writing is just 'thinking clearly', hopefully you can use steemit as a platform to think clearly and grow with. Who knows?

I tend to be a brutally honest human being. Thanks for your words.

Welcome fellow misfit to the land of possibility! Great post :)

You're most welcome here and I resonate with a lot of what you're saying. The people who feel the most discomfort in a culture often have the most to contribute.

If you're looking for a couple of interesting mind-blowing books to read I recommend these:
https://steemit.com/sci-fi/@alexc/2-futuristic-books-that-blew-me-away

I tend to buy more books than I read but I'm always open to suggestions, I will look into yours and thanks for your words.

Hey there welcome onboard! I'm pretty much the same in some ways, although fortunately / unfortunately more well-adjusted to society - found a reason to bridge the many mental realms. Being somewhat of a nihilist myself, I'll leave you with a quote - "Just because existing is pointless doesn't mean we're all negative nancies all the time. On the contrary some of my best moods stem from knowing nothing in this world matters or has meaning."

Not really politically correct of me to say but sometimes a night of getting shitfaced with a good book or a video game, or a blog is just what the doctor ordered. It's not about having a good time it's about escaping reality if only for a brief moment. A vacation for the psyche that pays the price the next morning. A price I'm willing to pay - over and over.

I think you may be perfectly right, except I suffer from anxiety and alcohol is a depressant. Not a good mix.

Congratulations on the first step, nice to have you here !! (:

Crypto currencies are great, even starting with 50 or 100 dollars worth of BTC can grow quite quickly after a few weeks of trading on a site Poloniex or Bittrex... it can be a good way to make extra money

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