Experiment: Finish My New Song With Me
Hey Steemers!
I'm a professional singer/songwriter. You can check out my originals and covers at my website.
I've got a new song. It's fast and fun!
I'm gonna put the lyrics here and sing it for you.
Then I need your help to write the verses! I've got some ideas, but I need more.
I'm looking for metaphors and twists of phrases to do with rain, breaking up, and happiness over both those things. You'll get the idea from the chorus, but specifically, here are some lines I'm playing with.
"You used to be my sunshine but now..."
"A little rain never hurt no one"
"The sun peeks out from behind the clouds"
And so on...
So, fill those comments with your suggestions and ideas! I'll share the finished song with all of you and then I plan to pitch it to a major artist.
Let me know what you think!
Lyrics:
Raindrops
Falling on my head
Downpour
I'm getting all wet
Recall
The words that you said
Told me bye and don't ask why
And I should be sad
But, baby I'm not
Treated me bad
And now I can't stop
Dancing to
The sound of the raindrops
While I wait for the rainbow
He told me about Spain
To come with him and how it would be
Only sun, him and me
And then he kissed Loraine
haha! That's great! And eerily specific. First time I've heard anyone rhyme Spain and Loraine.
I'm so happy that you like it.
My lyrics might be not so good but to inspire you gives me a good feeling.
This cloud
Has no silver lining
Washed out
By tears that I'm crying
That's fine
I prefer gold though
So I'll chase the end of the rainbow
I like silver lining and I thought about gold at the end of the rainbow. Haha good stuff!
Do you write also?
Yeah I used to front a band. I've been told I should try songwriting for others. And I respect those who can, I love visiting my mates studio and helping people come up with fresh ideas. But there's just something too personal about the full songwriting experience for me. To see them go to other people would be like going through the pregnancy only to adopt the baby out at the end.
I understand it, and respect it, but it's not for me haha
I completely understand that sentiment. I've managed to detach myself a bit from my songs, but you definitely sacrifice a bit of authenticity that way.
Thank you for contributing!
That's good stuff. :)
Very catchy! No input on the lyrics, but the idea of kind of crowdsourcing them IS a neat experiment.
Thanks for the input! I really hope it takes off. I'd like to do more of these.
Wow are you going to pitch this to Maroon 5? Your voice and styling feel very much in that groove/style.
EDIT: As to your plight. Way more cheerful and upbeat than the stuff that I usually think of in my own music, so I wasn't really feeling anything that I could help you with, other than encouragement. It's a good start.
Thanks! I've been told my voice is similar to Adam Levine. But, my plan for this song is the Teen market. Fun Meghan Trainor type vibe and simple lyrics.
Thunder
My heart as you left
Lightning
Memories of regret
Tracing
Times we had together
Footfalls
Is that you returning to me
Cat calls
No one else pulls from me
Wetness
Behind my eye lids
I like this. A lot. Really good concepts and visualization in here. Do you write a lot of music?
Not really... and yes I am the same person. I created that account with the concept of having an account where I answer everything in poetry or prose. It is a challenge and I enjoy it.
I've listened to a lot of music. I've majored in music and physics before purely so they would let me take music theory classes without giving me grief. I've played all forms of guitar (though haven't practiced in about a year) and keyboard, and Cello.
I have WRITTEN in general a lot over the years, but this particular side of me has actually been bottled up for a couple of decades until I unmothballed him last week for here.
Flexing old muscles... still pretty new. I actually responded to you from THIS account telling you I didn't think I could help you. Then I switched over to my other monitor where @chaospoet hangs out and suddenly it started to flow. shrug can't really tell you what is going on but I seem to get moments of inspiration when I am playing that character.
Oh and THIS response is an example of why I created that persona. I am very long winded. Responding in poetry helps me not write huge long dissertations that most people simply say TL;DR to and go somewhere else.
I sometimes answer people in poetry and carry on conversations with @chaospoet, but it depends. In this case I figured I should break character and respond here.
I just walked through your song in my mind each phrase and when I got to the end those concepts started coming. I set @chaospoet to follow you because I think you might offer me some inspiration.
You have a good voice. I am a huge music nut. I tend to gravitate towards a lot of metal stuff, but then I am also a huge fan of singing shows. I tend to watch The Voice USA, UK, Australia and sometimes some others.
Thus, why I thought you kind of remind me of Adam Levine's voice... which I suspect is a good thing.
Awesome. I like the idea of an account for prose. Genius. (A lot more work than I could handle right now). But, it's also neat that it's kind of become a psychological trigger for your creative side. That's amazing.
Fortunately for you, I'm not the TL;DR type (in fact, that is the literal first time I've ever type those four letter all caps in that sequence with a semi-colon in their midriff like a belly button ring...I digress)
I really appreciate the thought and effort you put into it. Exactly the kind of engagement I was hoping for. And honestly...for some strange reason...I wasn't even on the thunder/lightning train of thought. Or even storms for that matter. I was kind stuck on the drippy rain concepts. But, now I've got a whole other train to ride!
Well your style of singing is so cheerful... it felt up beat... I honestly wasn't paying attention to the lyrics the two times I listened to you sing it.
Then I read the lyrics and they were about sadness and loss. I'm not too bad at those types of things. If you wanted me to write you happy rain lyrics I'd be in trouble.
What is strange is I didn't put a lot of effort into that. I haven't really put a lot of effort into most of my responses to people as @chaospoet. It just is like you described some weird trigger. It just starts to flow... a couple of times I've come back a few hours later and literally thought "How in the hell did that happen?"
It's kind of strange and I am not joking at all.
I'll read a post... and then I'll try to reply with some rhyming poem that is relevant to that post.
To be honest I knew I could make up what I call chaos poetry but I actually haven't written any of that here. I didn't know I could write this stuff.
I'm waiting for when the shoe drops... the well runs dry... etc
As to TL;DR I remember a time when saying that would be embarrassing...
People would be ashamed to say that.
Now people say it and RESPOND as though they read it after just telling you they didn't. Yeah I am not a fan of TL;DR.
Does making up songs randomly in the car as I sing as I'm driving. I'm also really good at butchering other people's songs and intentionally changing the lyrics. :) Does that count?
haha it all counts as creativity!
Responding to your above comment to my comment - we've apparently reach the max depth on that one.
I was going for kind of a liberating break up song. it's sad because the wound is fresh and it's painful, but the relationship was bad so it's also a happy freedom. So, I want the lyric and the composition to clash a bit in that way - a beautiful contradiction, if you will.
But, at the same time, I don't want it to get too sad. My main character is crying, but she's also not sad...so I was thinking of a way to say it - like "tears lost in the rain" or something like that.
The rain is a metaphor for bad stuff in life. So, this song makes it a happy, good thing, a growing thing, a freeing thing.
Excellent keep at it. I have both of my accounts following you so I'll keep an eye out to see how things go. If you do more stuff like this will see if it inspires me. I could probably riff on this a little longer, but I think you've got some good stuff. Those verses @gregoryschneider gave you were good. I liked how he incorporated your rainbow theme at the end.
It's coming together. Keep up the great work! I'm hearing basslines and melodies in my head.
Oh yeah, I've got some good stuff going music wise. I need a really strong composer to help with complementary verses. I'm drawing somewhat of a blank. Lyrics are easy for me - it's catchy melodies that I sometimes struggle with.
Excellent post!
What did the policeman say to his tummy? -I've got you under a vest!
Wha?! Haha that's creative. But, it doesn't really "help" me. Haha
Greetings!
Exciting to have ya!