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RE: I'm Phoenix. I'm an artist and writer, and a survivor of childhood abuse.
Perhaps I am being naive here, but I have to ask, are your parents and all these teachers still living? And if so is it not possible to seek legal action especially now in the light of "Operation Yewtree" where it seems there is more of a will to clean up the past? After reading your horrendous story I can´t help feeling that if it was me I would want these filthy perpetrators brought to justice and I would do everything I could to do that. Thank your for sharing. Very brave indeed.
Thanks for your supportive comment :)
I have engaged with the police on this and reported the abusers, but unfortunately it's very hard for one person to go up against the current system. Perhaps others will contact me as a result of reading this. But we may have to do this together, outside the system of child abusers, which extends right into government and police force.
To put it in perspective, over 300 police officers across the UK have been arrested for sexual offences, assaults and being in possession of indecent images of children in just the last few years.
It's also important to realise that many politicians and influential public figures are child abusers. The very power they desire comes from a place of feeling deeply powerless. And it doesn't take a psychologist to work out what would make someone feel that powerless deep inside. Many of them are abused children, blindly repeating their abuse:
https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/anneke-lucass-harrowing-tale-of-sex-trafficking-am/
I think we will bring them to justice. I just don't think the police will, at least not until it reaches a critical mass. Many of them own the police.
I see, thanks for explaining for I can only imagine how difficult it must be to talk about it. Quite honestly I have to tell you that my body reacted dramatically reading your account. On a number of occasions I experienced a cold chill come over me and my mind just did not want to believe it was true at all. I guess we just don´t want such things to be true for it shatters our belief in our society. I wrote something in my local newspaper, here in Norway, about how I felt that past stars such as Jimmy Saville, Gary Glitter and Rolf Harris, including the BBC, have, in effect, stolen our childhood. It is on time we clean up our society. Even though I know it must be difficult I sincerely hope you find a way to bring these monsters to justice. It is one thing to say that people are merely repeating what has happened to them but that is no excuse. There are also thousands who ere abused who did not repeat the cycle. I know this because I have a good friend who is a psychiatrist and I once asked him why some people repeated their abuse onto their own children and others did not. He felt it was genetic. Survival DNA he called it. When a creature is cornered, even a rabbit, it will react in one of only two ways. It will either shrivel into a corner through fear, or it will attack. A child will react in the same way and thus adult molesters learn who will fight them and who will fight not. Needles to say a child should not have to be put into such a position in the first place. They are children. Also, either way, those that fight and those who do not will be mentally scarred for life if they are abused and suffer in their own specific way. He also told me that, after many years of psychology practice, we have come far in understanding how the mind reacts and copes with abuse, even though we still have a one way to go. But one thing that he told me that struck a cord was this. He explained that we have learned that talking about past trauma is not enough to heal it. It helps of course but now that the door is opened , the mind can re-live the event in more detail. Sometimes this will cause a victim to cry deeply almost causing a metal breakdown but this, although incredibly painful, will have a cleansing affect. Apparently crying is our way of cleansing and healing. However, he told me that there is only one way a victim can really come forward from the past, and that is they have to add as many future good memories as possible. Thus if you fill your future with wonderful experiences with friends, travels etc, the subconscious mind begins to balance the bad experiences of the past against the new good experiences of your present. The moment the good memories out number the bad memories is the moment you feel you have overcome the past. If that makes sense? Apparently it all depends on your age. For if we are middle aged or older, our mind knows we have little time left to replace the bad memories with good ones before we die. Thus the older we get and do not experience life any better then we start to believe that life will never be better even wishing we were never born .When I learned this I did not waste a moment in building future positive memories. Good luck my dear fellow I admire your bravery.
Thank you. This is amazing information. I will take a while to digest it.
You are very strong and awake!