Thinking about last night.

Hey Again, Steemitizens!

Yesterday I posted my first original poem in about 15 years, which was about the feelings I was having about meeting a "stranger" I know from here on steemit for the first time in person offline last night. This is a person whom I happen to like a whole lot for what I know of them so far, and I was very excited and nervous about meeting her.

I've been asked to follow up by many friends who know us both and some who only know me...

We went to a dance in a steaming hot, unairconditioned old college gymnasium at a school where my new friend is in town near my place, for a week long music camp she is attending. It was crowded, SO hot and I looked like a sweaty slug after the first two dances, which went on for several more exhausting and fever-pitched hours of traditional Irish line dances, which were the theme of the night. The only semi-slow dance was "the last waltz", but the rest of the night was flat out irish aerobics at a full tilt P90X workout level of exertion. It nearly killed me, but I was not gonna die on this first "date", I had to do it, or feel like a chump, and nobody likes feeling like a chump, right? :D

I don't know how to explain all the emotions I felt before and after this evening out. I am a wise old dog and I don't jump to conclusions about any of my friendships or relationships, new or old. I learned LONG ago, not to take anything for granted or try to second guess the future. I like this girl, she's smart, fun, talented, and has an old soul deep enough to scintillate and challenge my senses on every level and I find I like this rare feeling. This could go anywhere, or it could go no where. It takes to two to dance, and I may be the only one on the dance floor. I don't even know. But I'm on the dance floor, and I'm kind of hoping this one will forgive my short-winded body with it's old man's two left feet, and maybe join me for at least one more "last waltz."

I am not often challenged to rise up to a higher bar of introspection or outward action. This one though, in almost no time at all, within just a few fleeting moments in chat and our one short in person meeting, inspires within me a desire to strive for a higher level of self awareness and behavior than I've felt like pursuing in a long, long time.

This is actually an excerpt from a chat transcript from earlier this evening, so forgive it's choppy style. This is stream of consciousness piece, taken slightly out of context, which I hope the intro above reintroduces well enough to allow this to make some sense here and now.

{There will be some editorial comments in brackets like these in the body below.}

---

have you seen the artist
who sat at a table in silence
and let people sit across from her
in silence?

that is powerful - that artist
when her ex lover comes in
i cry every time.
im teary thinking of it now

their faces
the recognition
i want to recognize and be recognized.
no one has ever been able to recognize me.
NEVER
some got close
but they never really make the cut

{we have talked about self-worth in prior chats, she had called me out on the definition}

"worth"?

{quote from yesterdays poem post about this first encounter before I left to go to it}

I know only one thing.

And on that I'm assured.
That this one, feels different.
That this one, feels pure.

So I'm away to the night,
Willing butterflies to be still.
May the stars wish us their luck,
Just for a moment, fulfilled.

just for a moment
that's all we ever have
one at a time
till we have no more.
make sure you use them wisely
on things and people that are worth the use of the moment.
because you can't get it back.
and you cannot go back.
and you cannot do them over.
I would pour out my heart.
My visceral life for someone who wanted it,
who would want to do the same for me.
I have no other plans.

The above is just an excerpt of a much longer conversation but I felt proud of the expression, because sometimes I don't feel very articulate about my feelings and this one felt like I managed to say what I was feeling pretty accurately. I also had an occasion to use the above section about moments as source of some encouragement to another friend I respect very much who was having an existential crisis style moment of his own this afternoon. He resonated with it so I felt that maybe it could help someone else passing by as well.

As a point of reference, I discuss an artist in the dialog above. It went viral on several social networks a while back now, so you have probably seen it; but if not, for clarity and completion's sake, here is the reference I am talking about in the dialog portion of this, along with some amazing information about the artist and her incredible 700 hour silent performance art exhibition.

News article about the artist - Pull out quote and full story link:

At 5 p.m. Monday one of the longest pieces of performance art on record, and certainly the one with the largest audience, comes to an end. Since her retrospective opened at the Museum of Modern Art on March 14, the artist Marina Abramovic has been sitting, six days a week, seven hours a day in a plain chair, under bright klieg lights, in MoMA’s towering atrium. When she leaves that chair Monday for the last time, she will have clocked 700 hours of sitting.

700-Hour Silent Opera Reaches Finale at MoMA

Climactic moment when the artist's ex-lover appears before her unexpectedly at 1:15 into this 3.5 min video. Bring your tissue box, kids, I cry EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. and I'm a full grown man. But if you've ever deeply loved someone. You'll know why too.

With all my love and respect, this post is dedicated to those who asked for it, but in particular, a growing friendship between myself and @aggroed, @uniwhisp, and the other many members of MSP I call my steemit family. I love you all so sincerely.

And this was us last night in the dark, on low light and a cheap phone, in a moment of terrible photography and sweaty post-dance bliss!

And just like that, this post is over.

Full steem ahead, steemitizens!

@sircork