Pieces of the Puzzle, a Picture's emerging. Great research!

It didn’t feel like love for any longer. I was the traumatized version of my inner child again. Before he came into my life I was having so much fun with my magic and turning inwards. I was meditating and dancing in the garden, doing rituals, strolled through the forrest … I was happy healing all by myself. I've never had felt so high in my complete life. When we met, I felt devine. But he threw me into a deep valley immediately. I got suspicious and very sad.

Still.
Still I wonder.
Still it hurts. Sometimes.

My offering of thought responses: [before] you healed, got yourself to a point, 'completed a level' - got into a comfort zone even? _{(sigh, Life doesn't seem to let those times run on)} [during] the bigDeep hardToReach Triggers that come from such intensity of a relationship as you two shared. These are of course YOUR triggers (regardless of his role). These were the next set of lessons, brought to the surface for your Expansion and Growth. [after]... ongoing BÄMM²².