Rapture! People snatched up from all over the UK!

This young lady was so filled with the joy of kicking autumn leaves around in the gutter that she was immediately transported to another dimension.

You may have heard that the end of the world is coming. You may believe that the US Dollar is going to collapse on 9/27. Well here in the UK, people have been disappearing in large numbers, leaving only their shoes* behind. So do they have under-floor central heating in Heaven? Is this part of the big apocalyptic picture? If I sell them all on eBay, should I put the proceeds in Bitcoin or Gold??? So. Many. Questions!

Here are some of the many examples I've found.

It's not just in cities, this chap was climbing a dry stone wall in Yorkshire to get in and play with some local sheep when pooof he was delivered from this plane to an even happier place.

This lucky fella was walking along the street with his stonewashed jeans rolled up and a sturdy pair of espadrilles on his feet. He was playing "Come on Eileen" on his iPod and reliving his late eighties youth to the max. All of a sudden... yep, you guessed it, he was sitting on a cloud chatting with Simon Le Bon about the video for "Her name is Rio"

Having bought this pair of shimmering beauties in Primark on Saturday afternoon and twinning them with a sheer chiffon mini-dress and pearl encrusted fascinator, Ghisella von Gutenberg thought that life couldn't get any better as she stepped out of the rain into the pale nude BMW M4 driven by her new beau Piers d'Poostripe. But she was wrong, so wrong.

But this is where the mystery deepens - were these underpants all that their owner was wearing? Or were they simply shoeless and the hand of heaven has to leave something behind? In any case I have them in a plastic Lidl bag under my desk if anyone wants to come round and conduct a forensic examination to determine the truth.