THE HIGH ESTEEMIAN Discusses How to Profit From Steem Wars

6 months ago
62 in humor

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If you're not creating and exploiting controversy on Steemit, you're missing out on a lucrative income stream!

To my loyal supporters:

No question about it: there is a ton of STEEM to be made by throwing around baseless accusations, starting fights, pitting lesser opponents against each other, and dropping controversy bombs on Steemit. But how do you, a minnow, get in on the action? Steem conquests can be a confusing venture for the uninitiated. How do you know when you've stumbled upon an exploitable controversy? Should you officially declare your war by making a post, or conduct the battle through stealth attacks in the comments section? And how do you protect your flanks from enemy combatants? Today, I, The High Esteemian, will answer all of these questions and more as I show YOU how to be a top Steem War Strategist.

Select your target.

This is the first step, and it will be the hardest for most of you. You're going to need to find a Steemit user to pick a fight with. Now, in order to do this, you'll first have to rid yourself of the hippie-dippie notion that Steemit is some kind of peaceful, flowery bastion of freedom and happiness. (I know that's how most of you minnows are thinking.) Or even the wishy-washy, moderate belief that Steemit is an interesting experiment in social media that has it's good points and its bad points. No. Stop it.

Repeat after me: STEEMIT IS A WAR ZONE.

Steemit is under attack by someone, or a group of someones. Any goodness that Steemit once possessed is now in danger of being wiped off the face of the blockchain unless you respond with a superior show of force. Who are these militants, and what sinister acts have they perpetrated, that threaten the very fabric of Steemian civilization? I don't know. It's your job to find out. (If you have any leads, leave them for me in the comments.)

Here are a few tips for how to choose a target.

  • Choose someone who is already in the limelight. Your target should be someone who Steemians already know by name, so that readers will be sure to click on your post when you announce the scandal.
  • But make sure that the opponent you choose isn't a whale. That would probably mean instant full power downvotes, spinning your war of conscience into a tragic downward spiral of regret and grayed-out post previews.
  • Also, don't pick a powerless minnow as your target. Initiating asymmetrical warfare will make you look like the aggressor, which would defeat the purpose of stirring up controversy. You want to be the good guy in any Steem war you start.

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Fire the first shot.

Once you've chosen a target, it's time to take action with a well-planned preemptive strike. There are a few ways to do this:

  • You can create a post revealing the infractions of your opponent. In most cases, this will be the most effective attack. Make sure to write a headline that is sensational and scandalizing. And don't speak to anyone about your war plans before you attack; you want your enemy to be caught off guard so that they will be more likely to respond in a way that looks suspicious.
  • You can strike your opponent where it really hurts: in the comments section of his or her own posts.
  • You can seed cleverly crafted rumors about your opponent's evil-doings in the Steemit chat rooms. In this way, if you are really skillful about it, you can get others to start your war for you. Save your ammunition. Let them fight the first few battles, then step into the conflict belatedly with a post that will increase fervor in both factions (while increasing your own profit.) Be forewarned, however: this is a risky move. Your rumor-mongering might be seen as simple trolling.

Recruit Soldiers.

When people show up in the comments section of your big controversy-unveiling, war-starting post to further rouse the rabble, be sure to offer them plenty of encouragement. You can't win this war alone; you're going to need an army. And the comments section is the best place to recruit. Hopefully, some of these new minions will go off and publish their own posts against your opponent, complete with statistics and lists of untenable demands. These people are your foot soldiers. Your vanguard. If all goes well, THEY will be the ones to absorb the bulk of the violence directed toward your side, while you sit safely in your commander's tent, stroking your beard and moving little brass markers across a map. Then, when the minions are lying, broken and bleeding in the dirt, you can stride outside and take the last of the enemy out in one easy stroke of your broadsword.

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Gather your Allies.

It might also be in your best interest to woo the support of an influential ally of the whale persuasion. The best way to do this is to mention them by name in your controversy-stirring post, lay on some thick flattery, and then make a statement that makes it sound as if they have already signed up on your side of the war.

For instance:

" @whaleymcwhalerton is the smartest, greatest, and most well-dressed whale on steemit, and he said in a recent comment on my page that he thinks my work is really solid. I'm glad that some whales understand the magnitude of the problem we are facing from @mysteemwaropponent . "

Strike early and often.

Cause enough damage, and your enemy is as good as defeated. Before the war's half over, you want your target to be hemorrhaging reputation points. By the time you declare victory over your vanquished foe, they should be too ashamed to show their face on Steemit for at least a month.

Here are a few strategies for how to cause destruction in your opponent's territory:

  • Think of some really choice insults to hurl at your target. Refer to him or her by fun epithets like "The Blisterfaced Cocktrough", or "That Blubbering Buttwrinkle". Alliterative names will gain you a strategic advantage. BUT--and this is key--make sure you do not use these insults until AFTER your opponent and/or their minions have insulted you. Once they have, pull out your full arsenal and make sure your insults are better/funnier than theirs.
  • Post incriminating screenshots of your opponent's blog. Inflammatory statements they may have made. Suspicious rewards histories. Neglected image attributions. Typos. Whatever you can find. Bonus points if you include statistical analyses about your opponent's posting and/or voting history. It's okay if these incriminating screenshots are taken slightly out of context. You're not a New York Times journalist from the 1950s; you're a war strategist. All is fair.
  • Don't forget to paint your opponent's transgressions as a profound threat to the VERY SURVIVAL of Steemit as a platform and a community. You want your readers to fully grasp the fact that if this type of behavior continues, barbarism will reign, Steemit will descend into a realm of inescapable darkness, and every pinprick of goodness and light will be blotted out forever.

Profit!

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If you've done your job correctly, you should see the STEEM rolling in! That's if you don't get flagged into oblivion. But those are the wages of war. There is no great gain without great risk.

May the Steemit gods bless your battlefields and bring defeat to your foes.

Yours In Valor,

The High Esteemian

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I love you, Steemit!

Hi! I'm Leslie Starr O'Hara, but my friends call me Starr. I live in the mountains of North Carolina and I write funny fiction and satire here on Steemit. Follow me if you want to laugh your britches off!

Thank you for reading, and stay tuned for more. My alter-ego, The High Esteemian, publishes articles each Friday!

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Sort Order:  trending
74
  ·  6 months ago

Now there is really absolutely no need to go on facebook or watch mainstream news. All the conflict you could ever want is right here. Brought to you by: humans being humans.

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63
  ·  6 months ago

hahahhahahaaha EXACTLY!

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62
  ·  6 months ago

I already don't do either of those other things. (Well, I do go on facebook to promote my Steemit posts.) Steemit is plenty of entertainment for me!

49
  ·  6 months ago

hooray :-)

71
  ·  6 months ago

Love it Leslie!! This post has been Tweeted on the Official @Steemit Twitter Account! https://twitter.com/steemit/status/779305769162403840

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54
  ·  6 months ago

steemit Steemit tweeted @ 23 Sep 2016 - 13:05 UTC

THE HIGH ESTEEMIAN Discusses How to Profit From Steem Wars @Steemit #Humor #Fiction steemit.com/humor/@leslies… https://t.co/mT6ruN8tiY

Disclaimer: I am just a bot trying to be helpful.
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62
  ·  6 months ago

You are a very helpful twitterbot.

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62
  ·  6 months ago

Thanks @hilarski !

41
  ·  6 months ago

Maybe you will need technological arsenal in your "fiction": the bots, the drones in this warfare. 🚀

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62
  ·  6 months ago

Good point. Thinking back, I see some places where I could have spiced up the satire with well-placed bot references. Ah well, hindsight is 20/20. Good thing to keep in mind for future posts. Thanks!

70
  ·  6 months ago

Brilliantly written. :)

Resteemed.

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62
  ·  6 months ago

Thank you, Luke! Glad you enjoyed it.

59
  ·  6 months ago

Sadly unless he price rises we'll see more of this. It is an interesting study in how organizations blow up. It's so public here.

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66
  ·  6 months ago

If you have any idea what will make the price rise again (i.e. investors come in), please comment https://steemit.com/steemit/@fabio/so-who-is-actually-paying-the-steemit-bill

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62
  ·  6 months ago

More people would dilute the drama quite a bit, I think. If we had ten times as many users, there would be so many little scandals going on that it would be rare for one to become all-pervasive.

58
  ·  6 months ago

Are we finally officially allowed to have multiple accounts?

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74
  ·  6 months ago

there were never any rules about not having multiple accounts. I don't have time to clone myself or I would have long ago opened many accounts. It's a time vs. resource issue........I thought about being a man on here to see what the difference would feel like.

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58
  ·  6 months ago

Maybe this was a very early rule? I distinctly remember I was not allowed to have more than one account...

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69
  ·  6 months ago

That's never been a rule for steem, just steemit since they have to pay a fee of 3 steem.
If you're willing to pay your own fee there's this place where I shop for all of my sockpuppets.
https://anon.steem.network

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58
  ·  6 months ago

Nice! Gonna check that out then.

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69
  ·  6 months ago

We're a species in love with hate.
You choose a man, I'll choose a woman and let's wage war eternal...
https://anon.steem.network

It'll be fun...
BTW if you look at my latest post we're building a live action role playing game called HAVIN on top of steem, drop by we could use a quality DM.

60
  ·  6 months ago

Your post made me LOL! This is exactly what has been happening in certain quarters on steem!

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62
  ·  6 months ago

Glad to provide the giggles. :)

64
  ·  6 months ago

This is awesome, and what I think is worth mentioning here is that there is a difference between the genuine and the inauthentic.

For me, it's absolutely about some kind of strategy, and that's all of life, but what I won't do is say something I don't actually think or believe simply to acquire them dollahz!

I think that, if you can find something sincere, even if it's 'sincere satire', then say that flattering thing about someone else, by all means. Just mean it.

What I detect from some is a constant all-over-the-place attempt to ride any wave they can, and so their posts show no steady reveal of personal principles or values. Everything is momentarily based on what will grab them a dollar.

For those of us who value being ourselves before acquiring money, and who have ideas that matter more to us than piles of attention/dollars, we're more likely to draw a steady and respecting audience over time.

I'd rather be appreciated and valued for exactly what I am-- satire or not, whether everyone likes me or not. I find that I cannot bend away from the core of myself, I don't allow it. :)

58
  ·  6 months ago

Great read.... lol. I don't like to pick the fights. But, here is my take on it. The more users that come out of the woodwork to attack Steemit and attempt to engage users with this back and forth aggresison, then Steemit must be doing something right. If Steemit is a threat to another coin or a group then there will be more attacks. Anyway, that is my opinion and what I know from histroy... If we continues to come under attack by the naysayers then the brilliant minds of Steemit will be victorious.

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62
  ·  6 months ago

Onward to victory!

25
  ·  6 months ago

Awesome, Realy like the way you mentioned everything in your post

69
  ·  6 months ago

Can't wait until next Friday. :)

73
  ·  6 months ago

This is well written AND funny too. Humour gets a point across so much better.

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63
  ·  6 months ago

Completely agree!

62
  ·  6 months ago

Enjoyable satire! It's even funnier that those you made fun of are applauding

63
  ·  6 months ago

Hahahahhahaha OMG...
Wow as I saw this and started reading it, I began to think I totally disagree with the integrity of this post and yet maybe I will do my first attack on THIS POST!
Then I thought...well maybe its a joke? Thankfully I read the whole thing and it is a satire.
Though I wonder how many people reading it are thinking "hmmm those are some good ideas, I HAVE seen a LOT of $ for drama posts..."
Now that I know ur posts are satire then it will be more enjoyable to read the next one hahaha
Best Regards~*~

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62
  ·  6 months ago

Haha! You almost got tricked! Glad you enjoyed the post. :)

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63
  ·  6 months ago

hahahahha yes~
Thankfully I see things through, do research, don't make assumptions and respond with reason!

69
  ·  6 months ago

Well, that sucks, came here to get away from the damn drama, only to find out this place is worse than a junior high girls slumber party for gossip and character assassination.

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62
  ·  6 months ago

I don't mind drama, as long as I can remain a spectator. It makes for great comedy!

69
  ·  6 months ago

Not sure how the hell I've missed you this long. Great post! Upvoted and followed!
BTW you stole one of my future blog posts with this one. Just an FYI!

66
  ·  6 months ago

So were you a Marine?

64
  ·  6 months ago

i will definitely try w/ a huge bansheeeee! just kidding.love ur chess pieces ;)