The Count

There once was a loyal count in a beloved kingdom. The king and the count had spent their long lives together, but the king had taken ill and there was rumblings that the potential heirs were already plotting for control. It seemed to the count that it would be wise for him to seek safer realms as he would surely be displaced as soon as the king passed on.

The only problem with this plan is that he had been living on the grace of the king for so long that he had no wealth of his own with which he could use to establish himself elsewhere. So he came up with a plan to take from the king's treasury as no doubt it would be squandered by the slackers waiting to step in with the king’s demise. But thievery was not something he had any experience with, so he sought someone in the village who would be up to the task.

He soon found a willing accomplice and together that night they snuck into the treasury room and filled two large sacks with jewels and gold, one for each of them to carry. But as they were leaving, the count, being much older than his younger accomplice and not nearly as nimble, tripped in the dim light as they were making their way out of the castle, alerting the guards. The younger man quickly picked up the count’s bag and got away while the guards were busy with the count. It was soon apparent that a theft had been committed so the count was taken to the dungeon and the king was notified.

The king with some of the members of his court went to see the count to see if he would reveal the name of his accomplice, but the count was filled with shame at his behavior and refused to speak, especially with the very ones he was hoping to escape present with the king. The king was so upset that he ordered that the count be held until morning with no special consideration for his status.

The next morning, the king again went to see the count. Again the count refused to speak. This so enraged the king that he shouted "Off with his head!". Preparations were hurriedly made and before long, the count was taken to the chopping block. There, the king once again asked and the count once again remained silent, so the king motioned for the execution to begin.

The executioner had raised his mighty axe when the count at last had a change of heart and cried out "I'll tell! I'll tell!". But it was too late - the axe fell, the count lost his head and the stolen jewels were never recovered.

The moral of the story is clear:

Don't hatchet your counts before they chicken!