Requiem For A Lost Love - Part Four

There were these entries in her diary, where my mom wrote things about my father. More than 100 pages long. Felt like it was filled with teenage love and hate. Reminded me of me and Jenny.

This is how those were written -

19th December 2001

I met him today. After almost two years of not knowing his whereabouts, I met with him today. My dream prince, Isaac. Such Tall and broad shoulders. His blue eyes are so enchanting. We were at The Red Lobsters. He still remembers my orders, every detail. It was like he was never gone.

January 12th, 2002

He and I, we spent the night together. We were at his place up on the 24th. It was surreal, we talked and made love till morning. He still smells like spruce in summer.

He read to me his poems. And told me about all the problems he was facing in his father’s office. Even it being his father’s factory, the competition is too hard. I think his Brother-In-law doesn’t like him very much. I got the hint that he might propose to me any day now. Can’t wait anymore.

March 17th, 2002

I missed my period. So I bought a pregnancy test to check. It came back positive. I can’t believe a life growing inside me. I’m going to be a mother. Still do not know how I should break the news to Isaac

March 18th, 2002,

Isaac hated the idea of being a father. He didn’t say anything. But I could see it in his eyes. I asked if he wanted to keep the baby. He did not say anything. It felt like he wouldn’t mind an abortion. But I won’t let him. I’ll keep you, my baby. I’ll love you with my heart.

April 2nd, 2002

He left. Without even saying anything to me. I went to his house on the hilltop. He wasn’t there. It was like no one ever lived there. I knew it. He always escaped responsibilities. It’s my fault to trust someone like that.
It was almost at the end of the year when there was another entry. Reading it made me loathe myself. I never got the gist that my mom hated me. She loathed me. Like I was a disease. That entry proved to me that she always saw me as the reason why Isaac, my father left.

November 3rd, 2002.

At least I’m free of it. That thing that was inside of me for ten months. I can’t even look at it. Those blue eyes. Looks exactly like Isaacs. Why did God punish me like this? My dad thinks I’m a whore. I sell my body for money. He looks at me like I’m a degenerate scum from the streets.

I told him everything about Isaac and he still did not believe me. I can’t take this anymore. Please God. Why do you have to punish me like this? What is it that I did, what was my sin? To be so miserable. What do I have to do to atone for my mistakes? How much of my patience will you keep tasting? Oh God, please!!!

To be continued...

^{Cover photo from Pixabay}