The Challenge of Dealing With Loss and Grieving
An old friend passed away a few days ago.
Although we perhaps didn't have all that much contact in recent years, I still felt a great deal of sadness at the loss of somebody who once was a significant part of my life.
Grief is an interesting and occasionally frightening emotion. Nobody really prepares us for how to handle our grief. What's more, grief is a somewhat ”sneaky” emotion because you never really know how it's going to affect you and when.
I often have clients come to see me about handling their grief and how to get over their deep sense of loss. Often they feel distressed because the people around them don't fully understand what they're feeling, and say relatively insensitive things like ”you just need to get over it and move on!”
Perhaps they're well-meaning enough let's search comments rarely are of much help.
One of the many things I've learned about grief over the years — and perhaps the most significant piece of advice I can offer on this subject — just said grief doesn't come with a schedule. It's not something you suddenly ”get over.” It takes however long it takes to get over a loss. And because grief is a sneaky emotion, sometimes you will go along and feel like you are perfectly fine for months or even years and then all of a sudden you're triggered by something unexpected that puts you in a deep dark hole of despair.
Whatever you may experience, pretty much all of it can be placed under the greater umbrella of ”normal processing,” and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
I don't know how long it's going to take before I have fully processed my friend's passing. So I'm just going to allow it to take however long it needs to.
I encourage anyone else who is working through some kind of loss to do the same.
Thanks for reading, and bright blessings to all!
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