Psychology: Are You Weighed Down by the Burden of Your "Trophies?"
We carry a lot of things with us through life.
Good things happen, and bad things happen, and they all get packed away into our "box of memories." In most cases, we are fortunate enough that those experiences become just that, "memories."
Maybe we pull them out and look at them, from time to time, like photo albums... remembering certain people, events and places.
For some people, however, these events and people of the past can become like personal "trophies" they carry around and bring out in the open to share endlessly with every person they come into contact with.
Have you ever met someone, for example, who could not carry on a conversation without somehow bringing "my abusive ex-boyfriend" or "the year I won the state championship" into every single interaction? That's what I mean when I say "trophies."
Rather than allowing something to simply be a fond memory, it becomes this huge thing that defines everything else in this person's life. And maybe you just want to burst out with something like "Oh, for goodness' sake! That boyfriend was TWENTY YEARS ago!"
These memories can become very much like burdens we are unable to shed. They often translate into a pervasive state of bitterness and regret, and can keep a person from being able to move on and enjoy their lives as they are NOW.
It would be easy to say that these things happen because there was trauma, but it's not always that simple.
Part of my professional education is as a Trauma Recovery Specialist, and a lot of times these "trophy memories" are actually indicators of earlier traumas. The fixation on the abusive boyfriend might, for example, be less about him than about the abusive relationship this person grew up with, with her parents.
The human psyche can be a very convoluted and strange place, which is why it's always good to know a trusted mental health professional. Many societies are (sadly!) a bit funny about mental health. We are considered "responsible adults" when we make sure to go for an annual checkup with our physicians, but if we talk about seeing a counselor, we're immediately assumed mentally ill. Not exactly consistent!
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