Games People Play: Just Because You Don't LIKE the Facts Doesn't Stop Then BEING the Facts!
We human beings sometimes have strange relationships with the way we perceive our worlds. Instead of being curious and open to the myriad opportunities the world offers, we shut ourselves inside a tightly defined "box" we might call "How Life Is, According To Me."
Naturally, there's nothing wrong with holding certain beliefs about our world. The problem arises when the perception we have formed cannot be swayed by actual facts. Maybe that sounds a bit silly to you, but there are surprisingly many people "whose mind is already made up," and actual facts will not dissuade them, if they are counter to their belief system.
Keep in mind that I am talking about facts here — established reality that is not subject to opinion — not about "the truth" which can often include a substantial element of individual interpretation.
If the clock on the side of the station building says 11:45 and you missed your 11:30 train, the fact that your clock reads 11:15 is not going to magically alter the fact that the train has left.
I have had more than a few people show up for counseling sessions, not because they wanted to get better, but because they wanted a "professional" to validate that their contradictory perception.
Usually, making such choices that fly in the face of the established facts involve some form of avoidance and possibly denial. Often there is a trauma in the person's history that makes them unwilling to consider possibilities contrary to what they have established as reality.
It's something I sometimes encounter in counseling clients who come from a strict religious background, or those who have had encounters with cult-like organizations.
It's not about disrespecting anyone's beliefs, but what becomes important is to instill the thought that going against consensus reality is fine, but it comes with consequences.
Regardless, I have on a few rare occasions ended up with some very angry clients because I refused to validate their particular version of reality in the way they wanted, and they were completely unwilling to consider even discussing how they had arrived at the beliefs they held.
Some people are very difficult to reach... and their "blocks" are often the result of a deep fear of the narrative of the world around actually not being as they had envisioned.
Sometimes we even experience this in the public arena, in religion and politics, where the facts of a situation actually are unwelcome.
Although some people — and politicians — might think otherwise, the mere fact that you don't LIKE the fact doesn't stop the facts from being "facts!"
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