Do People Who NEED Help Necessarily WANT Help?

I have been in the "Helping Professions" for most of my adult life, doing everything from Tarot and psychic readings to being a Minister and professional counselor.

In short, much of my life has been dedicated to helping people.

Looking back across the years, one of the sad truths of the human experience is that while many people may need help, a lot of people don't want help.

And whereas someone dedicated to being in service may feel like it is their duty to help someone in need, the old saying "You can't help someone who's not ready to be helped" is sadly more true than most people give it credit for.

Of course, I am not necessarily talking about the obvious situations — like helping someone who has been injured — but the large number of people who need help with things like addictions, toxic behavior patterns and more.

We may feel quite helpless when we encounter someone who's in a self-destructive pattern, but are just resistant to listening to any words that might change their life for the better.

Sure, you might be able to "force the issue" but it's very unlikely that your efforts and good intentions will "stick."

I remember well a former client I helped get into rehab for drug addiction... but even though they were clearly losing control of their life, they were still not ready to be helped, and soon after being released from rehab they were straight back to their old patterns.

I have often turned to Buddhist teacher and spiritual leader Pema Chödrön's writings on compassion, when I find myself facing a hopeless situation where I'd authentically like to help, but my help would make little difference.

Chödrön points out that sometimes the most compassionate thing we can do is actually allow someone to fail utterly and completely, because that is the only impetus that will actually make them want to change their lives. If we try to "rescue" them, they will make no progress. And they will not be ready to accept help.

It's not an easy lesson to learn, particularly if you are of a helpful nature!

Thanks for stopping by, and Bright Blessings to all!

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