Better Mind, Better Living: Navigating Our Cognitive Blind Spots
How do we navigate our cognitive blind spots?
We all have them, whether we like it or not.
They are those strange parts of our reality about which we feel like we have something fully understood, but our understanding is actually flawed.
Sometimes we hold on to toxic patterns even though we believe we have found the answers to some personal problem or challenge, but we are blind to the toxic part of that solution that's actually keeping us from healing.
Cognitive blind spots can be slippery beasts!
That is why we call them "blind" spots — because you're unaware of them even though they are right there, staring us in the face. We might even have other people point them out to us, but even so we still refuse to see them or find ourselves unable to accept them.
If somebody keeps suggesting that something seems to be bothering us, and we start to get very defensive about it, that's usually a good indication that we're bumping our heads against a cognitive blind spot.
If you feel a little uncertain about the nature of what constitutes cognitive blind spots, we generally need look no further than the areas of politics, religion and relationships, all of which include parts in which people insist on holding onto some kind of "truth" that typically can very easily be debunked as not true at all.
So why do we cling to these things, if they are so wrong?
In many cases, it's a delicate dance with our long established personal belief systems. When some "blind spot" is questioned, it often puts us in the uncomfortable position of perhaps having to examine all what we have held dear for a long time.
Based on interactions with my counseling clients, it's often true that people end up feeling much better about their lives when they become aware of their cognitive blind spots.
In relationships — for example — we might insist that we are behaving with kindness and giving our partner a chance, when in fact we are treating them with exactly the same level of mistrust we (justifiably) applied to our cheating ex. By doing so, we are actually driving them away, rather than bringing them closer.
We have to remember that we are not with our cheating ex anymore!
As with many psychological situations, healing begins with simple awareness. And we can often spot the problem by simply being cognizant of when a repeating pattern exists... even though it seems like we are facing new situations.
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