Better Living: Understanding What "Support" Means to YOU...
A short while ago, I was reading a post by @stef1 which touched on the issue of "support." You can go read the post here, if you're interested.
As a counselor and minister, people often come to me for "support." But beyond that we often encounter friends, family and more going through difficult times that cause them to declare "I need support!"
The funny thing about "support" is that we think we have a pretty good idea of what that means, but it actually tends to mean highly individual things, depending on the person we are talking to.
When I give workshops, I like to illustrate this with the allegory of supporting someone who is digging a big hole.
Let's say that "Bob" is given the task of digging a really large hole in the back yard, perhaps to put in a storm cellar, or a mushroom-house. He's out there for hours with his shovel on a warm day, moving many thousands of pounds of earth from the hole.
Now, let's say the other people who live with Bob all genuinely want to support his efforts.
So one person brings him sandwiches and cold drinks so he can keep up his strength.
Another person lends him an ergonomic shovel to make the work easier on Bob's back.
Another person stops by the hole regularly to cheer Bob on and to tell him what an awesome job he's doing.
Another person brings Bob plans he's researched online for the most time effective way to dig a hole.
These all sounds like well-meaning supportive acts, right?
Yet, if you ask Bob, he'll say that he really doesn't feel supported and appreciated!
So, what gives?
Well, to Bob, being "supported" would mean that the people who come by actually grab a shovel, get in the hole and help him dig. The other things are "nice" for Bob, but they don't feel like support, to him.
"Support" can be a very slippery slope if we aren't first of all aware of what specifically makes us feel supported, and then communicate clearly what it is we need, to the people who are ready to support us. In general, very few people are mind readers!
What happened in the example with Bob is that each of the people coming by the hole offered Bob what they would consider "supportive" if they were the ones digging the hole... but their kindness didn't actually coincide with Bob's needs.
In the end, an applied lesson in the importance of clear communication!
Thanks for stopping by, and Bright Blessings to all!
You are not alone! (Graphic is our own)
The White Light Express Mission Statement:
Since October 2001, the mission of the White Light Express has been to offer healing and transformation through focused positive intention, meditation and prayer. Right Thought is the first step toward Right Action and consciousness. We believe that “holding the vibration” is a profound task and our divine destiny.
We appreciate you following us and upvoting if you feel moved to do so — we also really appreciate comments and feedback! If you enjoyed this post and think others might enjoy reading it, please give it a re-steem! We love you already, because across all the myriad beliefs we hold, Love IS the answer!
In addition to our blog here on Steemit, you can also find us on the White Light Express web site, on our verified Facebook page and on our twitter feed.