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RE: Reflection: A Life Mostly Dedicated to Avoidance
I have some friends like this, I try and push them to not avoid but then give up. There is also this anxious avoidant pattern in relationships too, have you looked at that ? The book attached is v good, it’s the similar ideas of one pushing towards things to stay in control and one pulling away. It’s normally a control mechanism.
It's definitely a very interesting phenomenon. I'm from nature's side extremely introverted (but not "shy," never really was) and my nervous system tends to be very highly... sensitive... to environmental stimulation. I experience a lot of "vigorous" things most people find stimulating and fun to be overwhelming and outright painful.
I've read "Attached;" definitely a good read on attachment styles, and understanding where they come from; I learned mostly from a disorganized/chaotic model, leading to extreme self-reliance as a teen and beyond.
In general, the avoidance I have dealt with has been more experiential/environmental than interpersonal; my friendships and relationships have mostly been pretty stable and long lasting.