Or we're both somehow right ;-))

I think that must be it 😉

then you have a basis for negotiating a different division of responsibilities at home, professional development and some inner satisfaction.

Yes. This is good. It's difficult as the-mrs-gorilla comes home from work, has dinner and then we're pretty much at bed time - which we share because they won't settle without "supervision". Then it's late and we either spend a little time together or do our own thing. Tricky... but not impossible!