Feeling Blue 💙 ᶜᵒˡᵒᵘʳ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵉᵉᵏ ᶜᵒⁿᵗᵉˢᵗ
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The power and influence of colour is something which has always fascinated me. It has always played a very large influential role in my life too - not always intentionally, it has just always been that way.
Many years ago - in my early 20’s I attended a psychic development course. We would do all sorts of practical stuff each week which was intended to heighten our connection to “things unseen” I suppose you could say… and I am not specifically referring to things of an eerie nature or ghosts and such, but rather - energy work.
Some of the stuff seemed rather strange at the time and as students we often were not very clear where the teacher was “taking us” or what the objective was - until it was achieved that is, and I have to say that over that six month period, I got to experience some pretty astonishing things - as well as being witness to.
One of the weekly exercises which we would do was practicing the sensing of colour. What do I mean? Well, in a nutshell - I mean FEELING colour. Every single colour holds a different vibrational or energetic frequency, so the objective was to develop your ability to get in tune with that, without actually looking at the colour directly.
It was not an overly complicated concept - in fact quite basic really. One person at a time, you were seated at a table and then blindfolded. The teacher had a whole selection of laminated colour cards and she would select one and put it in front of you. You were given a few moments to centre your focus and to try and pick up what colour was in front of you, without seeing it. This process was repeated many times, immediately one after the other, with her changing the colour of the card each time - sometimes repeating the same colour etc.
Witnessed by all the other students, you were told afterward how many you got right and how many you got wrong. I quickly discovered after a few weeks of attending this course that I was particularly good at this specific exercise and most always got it 90% right. That and one other exercise were definitely my strong points - the other being of a similar nature, in that you had to try and “feel” which one of the other students was standing behind you.
I don’t know if it was the stuff we did on that course that increased my connection to colour and how it affects me - I mean, I am pretty sure that I have always been relatively receptive to it, but perhaps that practice unquestionably amplified that.
There is not a day that goes by where colour is not an influential factor in my day - right from the start actually - from the time I pick out what colour underwear to put on, lol - and thus the clothes which follow - and I am wearing blue everything today haha - even smokey blue eye shadow!
Blue, interestingly enough, is a colour which I have only really begun to resonate with in the last couple of years. Why?! I have absolutely no idea what changed… other than my moms passing. It is not that I ever disliked blue - it is just that it never really DID anything to the way I feel inside. Greens I feel immediately. Turquoise I feel immediately… and blues mixed together with greens and turquoise is a combination which has always catapulted all the “good feels” within… but blue on its own always left me feeling rather flat - even depressed, if I am honest.
I mentioned my moms passing, because blue was always her colour. She absolutely LOVED it - in every shade… purples too - and not that I diarised the moment when blue suddenly started to “speak” to me, but I do think that her absence has had at least some influence in that. Perhaps it is some kind of energetic connection to her - or perhaps... like taste and flavour development as you get older, I have just entered my next “life cycle” haha!
Or perhaps, it is something much deeper entirely.
A handful of you are no stranger to the things I have shared about my life through my writing over the years and a lot of it was not very easy writing - perhaps not easy reading either. Regardless, writing has always played a huge role in my healing journey, but realistically I know that its efficacy is limited and other “efforts” would be needed from me in order to further the process of “putting the pieces back together” in my life.
I am not sure how many of you are familiar with chakras and what they are all about, and I am not going to get into that right now, but blue is associated with the throat chakra which is directly related to aspects of self-expression and our ability to communicate our needs.
Though I may have been writing for years, I have not been “talking”. In fact, before my rather toxic marriage ended - my husband at the time had actually insisted that I no longer speak about anything or anyone from my past, because he did not want to hear about it. I never realised until recently, just how much that demand, compounded with everything else he put me through - impacted my life from then, right until now.
I think I mentioned this in a post recently - or perhaps it was just a comment, I do not recall… but about two weeks ago was the first time since I was married - (which has now been almost fifteen years), that I actually began to speak about the “timeline of my life”. I started at the beginning and spoke myself through to now - outlining every major event or incident that had traumatised me throughout the years.
I cannot even begin to express how much impact that simple exercise had on me emotionally. It was like a tidal wave of pent up pain that was just suddenly allowed to flow freely. Years and years of bottling stuff up, pretending “this or that” was trivial and did not affect me, when in truth - all of it has been slowly killing me emotionally and mentally from the inside out.
Perhaps my disconnect from that part of self - ie. My inability to freely express and verbally off load my emotional traumas had something to do with my lack of connection with the colour blue back then - as well as the gradually growing connection and love I seem to be developing for it over the last few years.
Perhaps all of this sounds a little crazy to others - maybe it even sounds a little crazy to me. I don’t pretend to fully understand the “how” of everything, and perhaps some things are meant to simply remain bigger than us… but what I do know is that something changed along the way and now, I am definitely FEELING blue… and it feels - good!
💙 SIDE ART NOTE 💙
I have always loved collage art - layers, texture etc. Perhaps it comes from my design career... I don't know, but lately I have been playing around a lot with this digitally... and would like to extend it to practical / physical composition... but I decided to create this particular piece specifically to accompany this post and outside of the obvious colour driven theme - it is centered around the memory of my mom, specifically; her influence in my life growing up and how this impacted my character development. Moments, memories and most importantly... self expression. It is not "quite" finished yet... but it will be soon and then I will make it available in all of my online stores.
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Until next time...
Much Love from Country Bumpkinland, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea
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Yes, you are correct; I have seen this many times in my personal experience. I adore the color blue. When applications fill up, they frequently include security question options. I always choose "What's your favorite color?" because I'm confident I'll know the answer no matter how many years pass.
Blue has been regarded as a chilly color, and it is true that thinking of blue conjures up images of a chilling sensation. A coldness spreads across my skin, as if water or cold air had struck me.
It is quite fascinating actually how we all develop our own associations to certain colours!
Una combinación de colores muy llamativas, azules más claros y más oscuros, con hermosos detalles. Un abrazo.
A combination of very striking colors, lighter and darker blues, with beautiful details. A hug.