Dissolving doubts.
I don't know why, but in the early hours of this morning I woke up and my mind just would not leave me alone. For the first time in a long time, it was filled with doubts and concerns about the personal creative projects I am busy with at the moment. It was a strange feeling really, because up until now, I have been feeling really good about it all. Nonetheless, I eventually rolled over and went back to sleep. The uncertainty was not quite as loud when I got up a little later, but the remembrance of it worried me a little because I am the kind of person that needs to "feel right" about things... especially if it involves my daily activities.
In my garden, I hung a swing chair some months back and it is my favourite spot in the garden. I go there to just sit and watch the world go by. Complete stillness and peace. It is a beautiful sunny morning today so I decided to try and rid myself of my doubts by stepping into that space to rather allow my mind to be occupied by the beauty around me. The only company I generally have out there is my fur child.
I could get lost sitting and watching the birds in my garden for hours on end if I am honest. I find it enormously therapeutic - or maybe I am just old, lol - and if that is the case, I am totally okay with that. I just wish I had a proper camera so that I could get better shots of them in action. It requires a fair amount of patience to snap some decent shots and they are so damn sharp, they always know when Herbie and I are around, so they make themselves scarce. We have to hide in the bushes lol - though Herbs is not particularly good at going incognito haha!
I don't want to doubt the choices I am currently making. It is something I am very passionate about and I really want it to work, but sometimes I guess the noise of the world gets in the way and I start to judge myself, compare myself and wonder if I am even good enough to do what I am doing - which I know in my heart is just ridiculous... but you know that little voice in ones head can get so loud sometimes.
Removing myself from the chaos for a few moments helped, and now I am going to get on with what I had originally planned to do with my hours today - which is to continue building what I am building. I hope you all have a beautiful Saturday! Apologies for the rather random and pointless post... but hey, that is what my space here is for - for me to share. Freely. And I love that!
❤❤❤
Until next time...
Much Love from Country Bumpkinland, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea
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Hi Jaynie, this seems to be one of the day when we need a quiet moment just to do nothing, relax and to recharge our inner world for the next run. It is funny but time to time we need it.
I think you have such wonderful green place for this relaxation and swinging on that hanging chair, you subconscious you want to be free, light wants weightlessness like a leave on trees when they are moving with blow of wind. It is almost like meditation but at least that gives you a feeling of fresh and energy.
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Very true sweetie @stef1 - and you know what I think is even stranger... is the fact that we more often than not... DON'T give ourselves those moments or that little bit of time. It is such a simple concept really, one which is applicable and present in all other facets of life... even gadgets need to recharge, lol.
I am grateful for my garden every single day!!!!!! I actually cannot remember what my life was like before I had this magical space - and yes, I know I still have so much to do in it to make it the way I want it... but that is half the beauty - as you would know well, being a green fingers individual yourself :)
Thanks for your positive thoughts and for stopping by to read! I hope you have a wonderful start to the new week!
Never, ever pointless!
The voices inside us often rear their unwelcome heads and there are a myriad reasons, including reasons we sometimes don't like to consider... "what if I'm not worthy of being truly happy, making a living doing something I love?"
"The World" has NO idea what it's like to be Jayne. None. Nada. Zilch. The World wants us to dress up in bland clothes and commute to meaningless jobs, working for some soulless corporation so a bigwig somewhere can make the payment on his/her 100-foot yacht.
I'm so glad you have your own personal sacred spot — for that's pretty much what it is — where you can simply BE. Methinks life in Country Bumpkinland becomes you!
xo
Thank you :) I appreciate that!
You are so right in this. And I wonder often - WHY is it that I feel and/or think this way about myself. Nobody should feel this way, not ever. I suppose that realisation is a positive part in it all... but it still boggles my mind that it managed to worm its way in there to begin with.
I honestly would not change it for the world - and the more time that passes, the happier I become. There is something so enriching about simplicity. There is space to think and yes... to just "be".
hugs!
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Thanks so much for the support @joslud :)
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Thank you very much @𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝𝐲 :) Greatly appreciated!!
Hola mi estimada amiga @jaynie espero
te encuentres bien ,me pareció maravilloso tu post tus fotografías excelentes muy lindas se ve que ese rincón es tranquilo en tu jardín y ahora mas cómodo para sentarte en tu mecedora a meditar organizar tus ideas y dejar de lado las preocupaciones qué tengas un lindo día
Thank you for your kind words and your compliment @erika08 - I appreciate it very much! and yes, I am very grateful to have such a space to be able to enjoy the quiet moments in!
Happy Monday lovely, I hope you have a beautiful week!
Gracias por sus amables palabras y su cumplido. ¡Lo aprecio mucho! y sí, ¡estoy muy agradecida de tener un espacio así para poder disfrutar de los momentos de tranquilidad!
Feliz lunes preciosa, espero que tengas una hermosa semana!
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Because we enjoy entertainment and talent.
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Thank you sweetheart @wakeupkitty! Much appreciated - always!