ProWritersHub | Week 1 | Topic 5: Peer Pressure - What is it? How can one handle it?

_{Myself and a friend who just joined the team}

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An average Nigerian female perms her hair. While some stretch it to have ease when combing it out due to the coarse nature of the African hair, others wear it in a jerry curl just to have the European or American woman look. When I started keeping my Afro, the popular comment I received from my friends and strangers was, “Oh! your hair is so thick and beautiful. When will you relax your hair?”

(Gives the speaker a stern look and then looks away)

There were people who vowed to rock “team natural” with me too. Did they keep their promise? As we progress, you will get to find out if peer pressure made them succumb to the conversational way of maintaining African hair.

What is Peer Pressure?

First, you need to understand that the word “peer” refers to someone of the same age, social class, or like in this case, the same gender. Pressure, on the other hand, is synonymous with influence. Therefore, peer pressure is a strong feeling that you must do the same things as other people of your age, social class etc to get them to like you. Virtually every human being experiences this, although it is more common among teenagers or young people.

Why is it Common?

Man is a social being living in a society with laid down norms, values and ethics. They get to associate with different people with different personalities and tastes daily. Some get compelled to pick up new habits to fit in. An example is some of my team-natural friends who later gave in to relaxing their hair just because they were discouraged by others.

Examples of Peer Pressure

A person's peer group can influence them either positively or negatively. One either becomes a better version of themselves or picks up undesirable traits and behaviours which can lead to their doom.

Positive peer pressure

1. Growth: Parents encourage their children to mingle with brilliant children because they believe that this will help their children maintain good grades at school. Associating with people that possess desirable traits brings about growth. This is a general rule for a successful life.

2. Dreaming Big: Keeping the right friends means that you will be able to reach out to the skies. Check out the most successful people on earth and you will discover that they could afford to brainstorm life-changing ideas because the clique of friends they maintain are also successful.

3. Positive development: There is a popular clique which says, “show me your friend and I will tell you who you are.” Identifying with the right peers contributes to personal development. My major motivation is a friend of mine with a healthy long length afro-hair.

Negative

1. Promiscuity: This has become the order of the day as people look down on those who decide to remain chaste or faithful to their partners.

2. Alcoholism: Most people are brainwashed to believe that binge drinking is a way to show friendliness and hospitality. Hence, most persons welcome their friends to their homes or occasions by giving them excessive alcohol. The visitors, on the other hand, drink themselves into a stupor just to show that they have no reserved dislike for their host.

3. Pepper-dem-geng: The trending Nigerian slang is now common in cyberspace. Most netizens flood their social media timelines and status with pictures of themselves living extravagant lives just to pepper their social media in-laws a.k.a village people.

4. Fake life: When people live a life beyond their means just to please others or show that life has not finished them patapata. Alumni reunions and Lagos parties are the most famous examples of this lifestyle.

How Can One Handle Negative Peer Pressure?

1. Make a conscious effort to build yourselves.
2. Deal with low self-esteem.
3. Build a strong-willed spirit. People who are not easily controlled do not succumb to detrimental decisions. They will always have 1001 reasons why they will not make the wrong choice.
4. Know how to handle opposition. Trying to talk people into understanding the reason for your action can be futile. Simply walk away from them.
5. Make a choice: In humanism, it is believed that man has a choice. Not making a choice is a choice. So you have to choose whether to make a choice or not make a choice. Whether you understand this or not, the point has been made.

Final Thoughts

Rock your life the same way I rock my afro hair with pride. Refuse to succumb to naysayers the same way I refused to relax my four-year-old hair. Sometimes you just have to stand out and look different— a good difference. Have you seen my afro hair, it will make you want to grow yours. Yes, honey. You are not the first to make that decision and you will not be the last to make the decision. I am a positive peer pressure — you see. :-) (winks)

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