Am lost of words.. Its not easy being a man talk more of loosing the head of the family at a tender age. Bro you are really trying your best to make end meet.
One thing you said in this post i so much cherish is this

For me, it is really hard but we can always try to strike the balance no matter what it takes.

We can always try to strike the balance no matter what it takes cause our health is at stake too. Keep doing your best God will see you true.