Spotlight on Relatives - A personal story of how my (Uncle/Aunt) (helped/or refused to help) me

I have heard so many people say that their success story has nothing to do with other people but that's isn't true because as many people that crosses our paths and we were able to communicate with in one way or the other have added to our life or success story.

It is one thing to have family who say they love you and it is another for them to be of help to you when you are in deep need. I am not of the opinion that we should always go to people when we are in need but all i say is that, there comes a time in life when an unexpected event takes place and you just know this case is beyond you and you can't help your self.

Although I am not the kind of person to run to my uncle or aunt now considering the fact that I don't like to depend on anyone and also considering the fact that i have faced a lot from most of them but I can't help but be grateful to them for the things they've done for me while I needed their help at a point in time and the rigorous lessons of life I learnt when I was around them .

In as much as not many of us has not been lucky with having good uncles and aunties I still won't blame some of them who refuse to be of assistance to us just because they feel they don't owe us anything and yeah, nobody owes us the right to help us so if we are not lucky, i don't think we have any right to blame them for not helping us.

A personal story of how my Uncle helped me
Since I was my father's pet, I wasn't opportune to go stay with my uncles for holidays and the worst of it, my dad won't want to hear of me tell him that I want to go for holiday with my uncles.

But after the death of my dad, I had no option than to go stay with one of my favourite uncle from my maternal side just so I will be able to finish my education, since i knew it would be pretty hard for my mom to enroll myself and two of my siblings in school. Although i was happy because he was my favourite uncle in all my maternal uncles and glad that i was going to stay with him to finish my college education even though it sounded odd for me and difficult leaving my siblings and mom for the first time but I had no option than to leave my family if was wanted to finish my education.

When I got there, he enrolled me into a public Secondary School, bought my uniforms, books, textbooks and other things I will be needing in the school. He made sure to give me a transport fare to and fro to school and gave me a daily allowance. He paid my examinations fees and every other fees that was needed to pay.

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The good thing was that I wasn't ignored by my uncle neither was I ignored by his wife because at that period, I was devastated and depressed. I was emotionally unstable and thank God, my uncle's wife was so good to me and I remain grateful to her for her understanding than I can imagine. She always woke me up, prayed with me and encourage me to come out of my shell when she notices that I am withdrawn and still crying. She always made sure i got everything
I needed and treated me like the child she never had.

I wouldn't say they were capable of helping me then because they had there own challenges but i would say they had to sacrifice the little they had out of love just to make sure i never felt the absence of my father. During that period, my uncle's wife was in school and they really needed money to pay for her school fees, handouts and projects. That period also, she was pregnant and they needed money to register her for antenatal over were she was schooling and also here at home just in case she goes into labour any time and any where. They needed money to also buy babies since they were an expectant parents and the first child to come since they got married.

What is your advice to friends that are shunned or ignored by a relative?
My advice to friends that are shunned or ignored by a relative is never depend on people for help and never have in mind that any time you go to people for help that it is their responsibility to help you because you are not their responsibility.

In as much as you go to them for help, don't always come back feeling bad when they refuse to help you instead go out and look for means to help yourself out of that situation because you don't just know where help will come from. Never wallow in self-pity because they never helped you and secondly, don't let the pain of your uncles/aunties not helping you stop you from helping others or any of your relatives that comes you way. Don't always wait for them to help but rise up and do something for yourself because God will always make a way out.