[Learn With Steem Journal - Second Edition] : Are You Always Doubtful? (20.04.2022)
That road is slippery but I doubt if one can fall, that's a doubtful thought. I strongly believe you must have met some folks who question virtually everything? What could be responsible for such a habit? Could it be they were once a victim of deceit? How can they change this mental attitude and be comfortable with other people? This Second Edition of Learn With Steem will touch on some of these questions.
DO YOU DOUBT ALWAYS?
Doubt!, that word is not accepted by Victims. You must have doubted yourself or someone, I have been a victim of that before. A child doubted his parents’ ability to buy him a car because they could not buy a car for themselves when he was much younger. The wife of a certain rich man doubted her husband’s faithfulness because she intercepted an immoral chat between her husband and his secretary in the office. One 90-year-old barren woman laughed in doubt when she was told that she will become pregnant and give birth to a child. I doubted my younger sister Eleven months ago when she introduced Steemit to me and told me that I can actually make some investment here. What is doubt, and why are people almost always in doubt?
Without consulting the dictionary, I’ll quickly hint that doubt is a state of disbelief that something has happened or will happen. It’s also a lack of trust and faith in someone or something. One may sometimes be in doubt when they are not sure of something or sure of the direction to go. When doubt sets in, people generally get confused and limp on two or more opinions. They become indecisive and may procrastinate taking a decision and acting on it, I am saying this with experience.
Some people doubt themselves. Doubting oneself is often a result of a track record of failure—a perception of one’s performance over time. For instance: just because I have published so much content both day and night here on the blog and I couldn’t achieve the dolphin level before my one year on the steemit blog which is next month, meanwhile this has always been what I desired and believe I could achieve, I may by some forces of nature become afraid of being consistent in my content publishing because my mind is set on failure. Of course, such a thought would be a very negative thought and not healthy for any steemian (Note: The above instance was just for illustration purposes and I am in no way encouraging any user to relent effort of being consistent. Be very active anything is possible!!)
So the spirit of “I can’t”, doubting oneself is built over time, it doesn’t come automatically. It starts building as one fails almost every examination they sit. And deep down, they know that they didn’t pass, but their sponsors, quite too often, their parents, keep pushing them to the next level of failure. This process of “fail and push” is what sows the seed of doubt in oneself. When reality eventually dawns on them, when failure can no longer be pushed to translate into “success”, doubt becomes deeply engraved on their mind.
When one is in constant doubt of their ability to perform certain tasks, their ability to control their sexual appetite, their ability to say yes and stand by it, and on, they find it extremely difficult to believe others.
Doubt, a lack of trust, can ruin relationships. A husband or wife, for instance, who doesn’t trust their spouse will always be suspicious of even well-meaning steps taken by one of them. And when trust issues degenerate, relationships crumble, and others whose existence depends on the survival of the marriage suffer. Children, extended family members and other relationships tied to the family bear the brunt. But how can you build trust?
Like the building of a house starts from the foundation, you need to lay a solid foundation for trust. If you must trust others, you must trust yourself first of all. Believe in yourself is a key to trusting the next person. Although some people trust themselves but don’t trust others because of a couple of unpleasant experiences they have had in the past, they fail to consider the fact that people are different.
It’s wrong to judge Jane by ubongudofot’s behavior. A person may behave differently in different situations on the same issue. For example, a person may not steal because they have in abundance. The same person may decide to steal when they have nothing.
So if you don’t trust people because of the terrible experience you have had with others, you will live in doubt. Learn from the example of the perfect man who lived some two thousand years ago. Though perfect, he lived among people and chose friends and business partners from imperfect people. He never stopped partnering with them even when they disappointed him. He kept managing them and entrusted them with responsibilities. He trusted them and never gave up on them. The lesson? Keep trusting people until they disappoint you beyond what you can tolerate. When you trust people they tend to reciprocate, that's a good #lifestyle.
Replace doubt with trust and enjoy a healthy life free from the unnecessary burden of suspicion. Suspicion creates unnecessary fear. Imagine you were dumped in a forest by some kidnappers, and you are there alone are afraid of being attacked by dangerous animals. Each rustling of leaves scares you as you see an earthworm as a snake, a rat as a lion. With the passage of time, you are out of the forest in the midst of people you trust will not hurt you. Fear of something that never came your path may have killed you before your death. Similarly, people who don’t trust others are like cowards who die many times before their death.
Give people the benefit of the doubt. This helps build your confidence in others. See the next person the same way you see yourself, and deal with them sincerely. When people perceive that you don’t trust them, they deal with you treacherously. It’s like you’re constantly telling a child that they are stupid. They prove you right by living up to the name you call them—meeting your expectations. That’s how many people are wired.
Thank you for reading my journal, I hope you've learned something today. Let me know your opinion on this topic.
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Cc: @pennsif @el-nailul @heriadi @irawandedy @klen.civil @sofian88